Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion

#people #crime #background #person #nature

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Some

people

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believe that the main cause of

crime

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is poverty while others think that

person's

Correct article usage

a person's

show examples

nature

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

crime

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This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views and shows my personal ideas. There are several

reseaons

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reasons

why

crime

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caused by an economically disadvantaged background. The

first

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thing is that

people

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without

money

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will hardly to keep their lives. If

people

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do not have enough

money

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, they will not maintain a standard life, which means they have no place to live and even can not feed themselves.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they will use various methods to get

money

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, which

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

illegal ways.

Secondly

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

people

peopel

Correct your spelling

people

can get rid of pressure, if they have

money

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. When

people

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have enough

money

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, they could buy anything that they like.

For instance

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, many

people

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would go shopping when they feel sadness or depressed, because they can release these

negtive

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negative

negatives

emotions due to shopping.

Hence

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, they will be more joyful, and they have lower motivation to

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crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

Nevertheless

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, person's nature

also

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play a significant role in

crime

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. Some criminals' personality lead them to commit crimes, and they did not commit crimes for

money

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anythingelse

Correct your spelling

anything else

. We can see a number of killers, they do not have

agrument

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argument

or hatred with victims, which means they only kill

people

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for fun.

Also

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, their are some

cirminals

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criminals

that have a bad

childrenhood

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childhood

children hood

or even abused by classmates. When they grew up, they are more likely to hate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and commit

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Add an article

a crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

revenge. In conclusion, i agree that both economically

diadvantaged

Correct your spelling

disadvantaged

background and person's nature are essential cause of

crime

Use synonyms

Submitted by charlessung.hk on Wed Sep 21 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economically disadvantaged
necessities
societal factors
external circumstances
criminal activities
intrinsic characteristics
personality traits
moral beliefs
psychological conditions
predisposed
personal choice
responsibility
profound impact
circumstances
attributes
behavior

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