Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It is observed that youngsters spend more
time
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on their mobile
devices
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daily. To me,
this
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may be due to attractive
applications
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found on telephones.
However
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, I believe it is a negative trend as we shall see in
this
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essay.
First
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and foremost, technology has revolutionalized our world today
that
Correct word choice
and
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parents gift their children tele
devices
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on special occasions like their birthdays. Some teenagers tend to abandon assignments after school to play games or surf the net for the rest of the day.
This
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has
lead
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led
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to
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of them
been
Wrong verb form
being
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addictive
Replace the word
addicted
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to phones and has resulted
to
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in
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poor academic performance.
For instance
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, a survey carried out by
Ministry
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the Ministry
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of Education in Nigeria shows that educational attainment has decreased in
this
Linking Words
era because of the amount of
time
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spent on the internet by children.
Thus
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,
time
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consumed on operating phones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
caused more harm than good. A detailed evaluation of the situation above gives me a distinct impression that
this
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may be due to certain features or
applications
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seen on mobile
devices
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. Youngsters are easily distracted
with
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by
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new
applications
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seen on smartphones and want to explore
it
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them
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to find out every detail about
it
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them
show examples
. Some spend hours on Tik
tok
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Tok
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, new games, Facebook and Instagram.
For example
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, my cousin updated her phone and saw some free
applications
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added, she became addicted to the phone,
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
more hours on it and was asked to repeat a class because of poor academic performance. In conclusion, youngsters spend more
time
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on their mobile
devices
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daily due to the attractive
applications
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it has.
However
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, I feel it is a step in the wrong direction because of
poor
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the poor
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educational achievement observed in them.
Submitted by chikajoy23.rn on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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