Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is observed that youngsters spend more
time
on their mobile devices
daily. To me, this
may be due to attractive applications
found on telephones. However
, I believe it is a negative trend as we shall see in this
essay.
First
and foremost, technology has revolutionalized our world today that
parents gift their children tele Correct word choice
and
devices
on special occasions like their birthdays. Some teenagers tend to abandon assignments after school to play games or surf the net for the rest of the day. This
has lead
to Wrong verb form
led
majority
of them Add an article
the majority
a majority
been
Wrong verb form
being
addictive
to phones and has resulted Replace the word
addicted
to
poor academic performance. Change preposition
in
For instance
, a survey carried out by Ministry
of Education in Nigeria shows that educational attainment has decreased in Correct article usage
the Ministry
this
era because of the amount of time
spent on the internet by children. Thus
, time
consumed on operating phones have
caused more harm than good.
A detailed evaluation of the situation above gives me a distinct impression that Correct subject-verb agreement
has
this
may be due to certain features or applications
seen on mobile devices
. Youngsters are easily distracted with
new Change preposition
by
applications
seen on smartphones and want to explore it
to find out every detail about Correct pronoun usage
them
it
. Some spend hours on Tik Correct pronoun usage
them
tok
, new games, Facebook and Instagram. Change the capitalization
Tok
For example
, my cousin updated her phone and saw some free applications
added, she became addicted to the phone, spending
more hours on it and was asked to repeat a class because of poor academic performance.
In conclusion, youngsters spend more Wrong verb form
spent
time
on their mobile devices
daily due to the attractive applications
it has. However
, I feel it is a step in the wrong direction because of poor
educational achievement observed in them.Correct article usage
the poor
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite