Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors

Many

people

think that

happiness

is bound up with your purse and how much

money

is in it. There are others who firmly believe that

money

cannot purchase

happiness

Money

is highly prioritized since your happy mood is measured by it in today's world because of the general judgment. In

this

essay, I will explain that

money

give every

happiness

what you want but we have to take account into its negative impacts on us.

Firstly

money

is a main contributing factor to living in today's world. İt is providing a solution to a person who encounters difficult problems in a day. When the society we live in turns out more social and it affects directly our habits inevitably. There are many

people

who want to be rich and they try to reach the rich level very hard.

Therefore

, the

money

they have boosts their moods.

For example

, rich

people

afford high-quality health services so they are more healthy than poor

people

However

, we live in a social society which has many stimuli everywhere. There is no border to

people

’s private life, so you can see easily what they are doing in their lives.

Therefore

, the community we breathe in judges what

happiness

means for

people

Then

we consider that being happy is possible with

money

Consequently

, it leads to cause many negative impacts on

people

’s minds.

For example

, if

people

can buy everything that they desire, there will be no other target than what they want. In conclusion,

money

affords everything in the world. There is a great shift toward being rich.

Although

most

people

want to buy

happiness

by using

money

, they take account into its negative effects. It is so much more difficult to try it than to think.

Submitted by ibrahimccet on Thu Sep 22 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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