In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Any cultures around the world have specific aspects which are relevant to its culture. In some of them young people usually believe that if they try hard, they could reach to any
things
.
This
could have advantages and disadvantages, and
this
essay will be mentioned some of them. On the one hand, believing to achieve
any
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apply
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things
helps
society
be more active, and have
a
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apply
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people with enough passion to work.
Firstly
, if
children
think that
by
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apply
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trying hard can achieve their
goals
, they will do more
works
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work
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and effort.
For example
, some
children
want to have an expensive car, so they go to work
instead
of doing
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nothing
show examples
nothings
Correct your spelling
nothing
show examples
,
therefor
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therefore
show examples
the
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apply
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society
will be active by working
any
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in any
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section even
children
.
Secondly
,
this
kind of belief, makes them be passion and do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
without reluctance.
In other words
, their
mindset
regard to
goals
help
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helps
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them to have a sense of
satisfying
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satisfaction
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, so they do their best in any
fields
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field
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which
this
lead to increase passion (which
result
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results
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in happiness) in
the
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apply
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society
.
On the other hand
,
this
mindset
for
children
could lead to expanding crimes and
violent
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violence
show examples
. In fact, young adults who think that
by
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apply
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hard
Add a hyphen
hard-working
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working
Replace the word
work
show examples
can reach
to
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apply
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any
things
probably do
any
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apply
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things
for reaching their
goals
.
For example
, if some of them want to
be reach
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be reached
show examples
, they will do their best, and they do not care about other
things
,
as a
result
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,result
show examples
it is possible that they have to do some crimes in their way
for
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to
show examples
hit
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hitting
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
goals
,
such
as kill someone or hurt someone. Unfortunately, their
goals
are
most
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the most
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important feature for them
,
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apply
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and don’t care about how
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
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those.
Therefore
,
this
makes
society
unsafe. In conclusion,
although
mentioned
mindset
about
children
could have some disadvantages, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because by making some rules which
relevant
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are relevant
show examples
to
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
crimes, mentioned
mindset
could be helpful for any country.
Submitted by moradkhanighane on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
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