In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

Any cultures around the world have specific aspects which are relevant to its culture. In some of them young people usually believe that if they try hard, they could reach to any

things

This

could have advantages and disadvantages, and

this

essay will be mentioned some of them. On the one hand, believing to achieve

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

things

helps

society

be more active, and have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people with enough passion to work.

Firstly

, if

children

think that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

trying hard can achieve their

goals

, they will do more

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and effort.

For example

, some

children

want to have an expensive car, so they go to work

instead

of doing

Fix the agreement mistake

nothing

show examples

nothings

Correct your spelling

nothing

show examples

therefor

Correct your spelling

therefore

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

will be active by working

any

Change preposition

in any

show examples

section even

children

Secondly

this

kind of belief, makes them be passion and do

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

without reluctance.

In other words

, their

mindset

regard to

goals

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to have a sense of

satisfying

Replace the word

satisfaction

show examples

, so they do their best in any

fields

Fix the agreement mistake

field

show examples

which

this

lead to increase passion (which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in happiness) in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

On the other hand

this

mindset

for

children

could lead to expanding crimes and

violent

Replace the word

violence

show examples

. In fact, young adults who think that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

hard

Add a hyphen

hard-working

show examples

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

can reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any

things

probably do

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

things

for reaching their

goals

For example

, if some of them want to

be reach

Change the verb form

be reached

show examples

, they will do their best, and they do not care about other

things

as a

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

it is possible that they have to do some crimes in their way

for

Change preposition

show examples

hit

Change the verb form

hitting

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

goals

such

as kill someone or hurt someone. Unfortunately, their

goals

are

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

important feature for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and don’t care about how

achieve

Add the particle

to achieve

show examples

those.

Therefore

this

makes

society

unsafe. In conclusion,

although

mentioned

mindset

about

children

could have some disadvantages, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because by making some rules which

relevant

Add a missing verb

are relevant

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

crimes, mentioned

mindset

could be helpful for any country.

Submitted by moradkhanighane on Thu Sep 22 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later in life.What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?