Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.

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It is argued that enhancing the

sports

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centers

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centres

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leads to improving public

health

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However

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, some believe that other more effective options are possible, the debate will be discussed in

this

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essay, and I am going to give a concluding view

at the end

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. On the one hand, physical activity is beneficial for individuals mentally and physically, and the numerous

number

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of gyms and

sports

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facilities is one of the factors encouraging people to exercise. These activities help to prevent chronic diseases

such

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as heart disease and obesity.

Although

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providing a suitable environment with invaluable facilities and personal trainers is deceiving for people to join

sports

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clubs, affording these features is impossible for a noticeable share of society, and it is logical to consider other alternatives.

By contrast

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, opponents mention that simply increasing the

number

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sports

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amenities is not enough and other factors should be considered

such

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as upgrading healthcare infrastructures and public awareness about healthy diets.

Firstly

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, a rise in the

number

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of medical treatment devices and doctors is a way to check the

health

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status of society's members.

For instance

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, sending doctors to a rural area in Shiraz, increased public

health

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by 25% and reduced the

number

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of patients in terms of illnesses

such

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as diabetes and heart attacks.

Secondly

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, public alert about the drawbacks of smoking, drinking beverages, and having an unhealthy diet is a better solution to achieve a higher rate of fitness and

health

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For example

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, educating people about the effects of healthy and organic ingredients encourages them to avoid consuming junk food, or teenagers to avoid trying smoking in adulthood as they know the harmful impacts on their brains. In conclusion, building

sports

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centers

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centres

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solely is not practical, and I believe other remedies are necessary along the quantity, improving

health

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services and public awareness seems to be more

logiacl

Correct your spelling

logical

and beneficial

soltaninejad_sahelWed Dec 27 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The essay slightly diverts from a clear discussion of how sports facilities might directly influence public health, with more emphasis on alternative measures than the direct impact of the facilities themselves.

task achievement

Make sure to develop your ideas fully and provide more detailed examples to demonstrate your points. The essay provided some examples, but they lacked depth and development.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas logically and make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. While the essay has a recognizable structure, transitions between ideas could be clearer.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and cohesive flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to aid coherence, and avoid repetitiveness.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with fully developed ideas, explanations, and relevant examples. Some points in the essay are mentioned without depth or detailed support.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

It is said that today in some nations people have chosen increasingly to live alone more than the past. I strongly believe that it is a negative development.

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.