Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

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By surveying human history, it is very obvious that there are numerous businessmen throughout history, who have been unforgettable for the support and help they gave to their communities. There are many individuals, including me, who believe in the idea that rich people are supposed to stand up for their societies and look for their needs.

Therefore

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this

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essay will shed more light on the pros that a person can receive from being a rich man.

Firstly

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, through hiring others, the businessman could expand his company.

In other words

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, standing out for the unemployed residents and offering good opportunities to them not only benefits them but

also

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gives the employees the chance to various their work. A good example of

this

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is what happened in China. When vehicle companies started providing jobs for their citizens, later on, one of the remarkable consequences was increasing the economy of the country.

Secondly

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this

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kind of act leads to building strong relations between society members. To explain more, when a rich person donates to incapable people, undeniably he gains their respect and trust.

According to

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a statistic that has been published in the New York Times, there is a loyalty from people in general to those who help them and they are ready to give back more than what they received at the right time.

To conclude

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, being a rich man does not mean working alone,

on the contrary

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, its true meaning is giving and gaining others' respect through providing many job vacancies and donating to their needs.

tahanialessa2021Wed Jul 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on refining the logical flow between paragraphs to make arguments more interconnected and easier to follow.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with more detailed examples and counter-arguments where appropriate.

language and grammar

Pay close attention to sentence structures and grammatical accuracy to enhance readability and clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant specific examples, such as the reference to China and vehicle companies, to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studying a language in a country where it is spoken by the majority of citizens is the best way to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?