some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortages of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many have different views when it comes to handling challenging events in daily life. Some

argues

Change the verb form

argue

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working

towards

Change preposition

toward

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making changes to counteract the bad effects while others support accepting things as they are and moving on. I am in agreement with the former view. On one hand, demanding a better future has its own benefits.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the developments

Remove the comma

apply

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and innervations are founded by the very nature of humans who

incline

Add a missing verb

are incline

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to make advances in the standards of living. For, instance, Dr Louis Pasteur found the germ theory because he strived to tackle human diseases and help fellow beings to live without infections.

Thus

Linking Words

, for the world to move forward we should not just be passive in face of adversaries.

Secondly

Linking Words

, It would give a sense of hope and strength to sail across difficult times.

Instead

Linking Words

of repenting and feeling

beaten

Add the auxiliary verb

beat

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up, if, someone works towards achieving a solution, that person would indeed be much at ease despite the outcome.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is only one reason many don't take any action in difficulties which is, being afraid of being hurt. When one rebels, demands, stand-up it is natural to sometime receive a reaction that we didn't dare to think of. Fear of the unexpected

ocurrence

Correct your spelling

occurrence

keeps us to comply with an absurd situation.

For instance

Linking Words

, many employees dare not raise their voices against discriminating employers because of the fear of losing their job. Even though

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apply

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doing so might put the worker at risk, there is a legal system that can be sorted to protect the victims. In conclusion, working towards improvement has greater merits than being quiet.

This

Linking Words

stems new creations as well

puts

Correct word choice

as puts

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those who face adversaries more at ease. Despite negative backlash would be a side effect of raising against bad things, its benefits are far greater.

ghm_dayThu Sep 22 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pragmatic approach
mental peace
stoic attitude
proactive measures
personal growth
financial management
sense of accomplishment
resignation
helplessness
stress and burnout
fatalism
collective well-being
self-determination

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some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortages of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

"The internet has transformed the way we communicate and interact with each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

more and more people think there is no need for printed newspaper. to what extent do you agree or disgaree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?