Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is very important to utilise
the
Correct article usage
apply

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leisure
time
for
Change preposition
of

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teens. it is said by few individuals to youngsters to use their spare
time
for society without any cost as it is advantageous for both. I completely agree with
this
notion and discuss my opinion in
forthcoming
Correct article usage
the forthcoming

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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paragraphs. To commence with,
teen
Correct your spelling
teenage

The word teen age seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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age
is the
age
when someone
choose
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chooses

It appears that the indefinite pronoun someone does not agree with the verb choose in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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the best options for
further
life
. If they start doing volunteer
work
in their free
time
from
this
age
they can get good motivation for their career. To illustrate,
in
Change preposition
apply

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Denmark
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Denmark's

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government indulge school students to
work
in public old
age
houses so that they can learn from their
life
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and focus on their
life
goals. It has been noticed by survey school teens who attend the non paid
work
get more success in aims of their
life
.
Moreover
, not even young adults but
community
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the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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also
gets
profit
Add an article
a profit

The noun phrase profit seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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costless
work
. When teenagers
work
without taking money that results in saving
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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finance and can be used for necessary purposes
for
example
Add an article
the example

The noun phrase example health system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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health system.
For instance
, in developed nation japan every school children have to
work
in
public
Add an article
a public
the public

The noun phrase public library seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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library
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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resulted in savings
which
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they use for enhancing the hospital facilities. In conclusion, young teens should be motivated towards social
work
in their free
time
to make them admirable for
best
Correct pronoun usage
their best

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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future
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours

The spelling of endeavors is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and it
also
leads to
help
Change the verb form
helping

The verb help may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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society in various ways.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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