Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working days or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not to get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem

Most officers have been recently seen overworking even
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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weekend or
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays

It seems that holiday may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
As a result
,
this
affects their
health
and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes

It seems that the verb become does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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worse because they don’t have
time
to do
exercise
.
This
essay will examine possible reasons and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions

It seems that solution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
situation. One of the
first
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier One of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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is
that office workers
Change the determiner
that office worker
those office workers

It appears that the singular demonstrative that is modifying the plural noun workers. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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mainly focus on doing their working tasks
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a long
time
, which make them exhausted after work and don’t have
time
to do
exercise
. Even if they have free
time
or
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
weekend
Add an article
a weekend
the weekend

The noun phrase weekend seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, they will only want to relax after a long week. That
also
leads to the
second
reason, everyone likes social media
such
as TikTok or Facebook. After a long working hour, workers usually want to stay
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their beds and use their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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instead
of working out because these apps make them relaxed and entertained.
As a result
of not doing any physical activity, employees have a high chance of getting obesity, backaches and other
health
issues.
Therefore
, one of
solutions
Add an article
the solutions

The phrase one of solutions may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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to
this
problem is to have a balanced life between working and relaxing. Officegoers
also
need to organize a gym or yoga class every week. If they are
to
Correct your spelling
too

The word to doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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busy, some YouTube channels have some 5-minute or 10-minute
exercise
classes for them to practice at home.
In addition
, they can use stairs in their company
instead
of elevators to improve their
health
. In conclusion, people must do
exercise
because it
does
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb does appears to be unnecessary here.

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not only improve their
health
but
also
help them concentrate on doing their business.
Submitted by sallytran240928 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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