Some people think that the (government should provide (assistance) to (all kinds of artists) including painters, musicians, and poets. However, other people think that (this is a waste of money). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Arts
, despite being overlooked and getting devalued by both governments
and people
in society are one of the necessities for achieving a healthy and fulfilled lifestyle. Not only arts
can provide a means of relaxation, but it is also
the medium that people
throughout history used to tell their stories as well. Although
it is still a debatable topic whether governments
should provide assistance for those who have expertise in arts
or not, I certainly believe that supporting arts
and people
who work in the fields can have more benefits for us in the long run. I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.
As already mentioned, Arts
are not just a way to help people
cope with stress but there are a lot of histories, cultures, and heritages of our society entrenched in Arts
as well. Therefore
, Learning from several mediums of art like paintings, songs or poetries can help us understand history. Second,
contrary to popular belief, arts
can help create jobs and generate economic value. If executed well enough, Arts
can create soft power that penetrates the entire globe. The most notable example is South Korea, which invented the soft power of KPOP and K-Drama which brought them enormous attention from the entire world. Every year tourists influx into South Korea with the influence of KPOP and K-dramas which as a result
, create jobs and economic prosperity for the state.
On the contrary
, People
who believe that supporting arts
can be a waste of budget compared to spending money on other necessities like public utilities, transportation, and scientific inventions might have a decent reason. Especially in developing countries that still need strong foundations in the country's infrastructures, In this
case, supporting arts
might not be a priority for them. However
, I still believe that governments
should balance the attention between the fields of science and technology and arts
better since Correct article usage
the arts
Arts
as expertise usually get neglected and ignored by central authorities.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the Arts
Arts
and people
who work in this
field can bring several advantages to society ranging from being a way for people
to find pleasure, being an important tool to learn history and culture, and most importantly, can generate
tangible economic value Wrong verb form
generating
to
the nation as well. Change preposition
for
Hence
, It is really essential for governments
to support those who work in this
field.Submitted by prawuntipjaa on
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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the counter-argument that supporting arts is a waste. This could add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure balance between both views to show an in-depth understanding of each perspective.
task achievement
Provide a clearer distinction between your opinion and the arguments presented. This can enhance the clarity of your final stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have used specific examples, like the example of South Korea, which enhances the relevance of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and flows well from one point to the next.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.