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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
Some individuals dislike
change
Use synonyms
 and prefer to spend their lives doing the same things, as they feel comfortable in familiar surroundings,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
change
Use synonyms
 can bring valuable opportunities. I believe that humans should not live in monotony,
although
Linking Words
 major changes should be considered carefully before being made.
Body paragraph 1
From one perspective, some people prefer staying in their comfort zone rather than experiencing new situations. They feel secure repeating activities they are familiar with, particularly when they have become successful at them after overcoming many difficulties.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may be unwilling to start again and experience the stress and uncertainty associated with unfamiliar circumstances.
Moreover
Linking Words
, others avoid trying new products or activities because they fear being disappointed and
consequently
Linking Words
 stick to what they already enjoy.
For example
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, many elderly citizens in Saudi Arabia mainly eat traditional dishes because these were the foods they grew up with, making them less willing to experiment with unfamiliar cuisines.
Body paragraph 2
From another perspective, many individuals see
change
Use synonyms
 as an opportunity for growth because it exposes them to different experiences, friends and environments.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may gain knowledge, develop relationships and create memorable experiences. I believe that changing one’s circumstances is particularly important when the alternative offers clear benefits.
For instance
Linking Words
, people should consider moving to a better home if their current one has serious problems or accepting a significantly better job opportunity rather than remaining somewhere simply because it is familiar.
However
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,
such
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 decisions should be based on careful consideration. An employee receiving a higher salary,
for example
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, should
also
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 assess the new job’s location, working hours and responsibilities before accepting the offer.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 avoiding
change
Use synonyms
 provides stability and prevents the difficulties of starting again, I believe that people should be open to it when it offers meaningful benefits,
while
Linking Words
 carefully evaluating the possible consequences beforehand.

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Task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make it stronger, explain more why some people feel that change is always good. You say it can help people grow, but you can also show how change may lead to new skills or a better life.
Task response
Your own view is clear: people should accept change when it has real gains, but they should think first. Keep this same clear view all through the essay.
Task response
Your examples fit the main ideas. The food example is clear, but it could link more directly to the idea of avoiding change in life, not only trying new food.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear plan: an opening, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. This makes it easy to read.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links to show the move from one idea to the next. For example, after the point about fear, you could add a short line that shows how this fear can stop people from making useful life changes.
Coherence and cohesion
Most sentences in each paragraph stay on one main point. In the second body paragraph, you can make the move from the good side of change to the need for care even smoother with a link such as “Even so” or “At the same time.”
Task response
You answer all parts of the task: you explain both views and state your own view clearly.
Task response
The job and home examples are useful because they show when change may be a good choice and why people must think before they act.
Coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main idea, and the ending sums up your view well.
Coherence and cohesion
Words such as “From one perspective,” “Moreover,” “For example,” and “However” help the reader follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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