IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ZDeveloped countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in thier contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?

#countries #world #thier #contribution #dangers
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Music
Use synonyms
 is a great context for getting together various types of
humans
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 naturally.
Humans
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 of different ages, cultures, and gender are able to come together in order to
tolisten
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to listen
listen
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music
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to music
show examples
.I
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agree
onagree
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agree
Linking Words
this
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with this
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 idea strongly...Two basic factors push me to think like
this
Linking Words
.One of them is international
music
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festivals
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.At the time of international
festivals
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 all around the world, a large number of
people
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 are collected in one centre. ,
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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 even though
humans
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 do not share the same place, with
music
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 they can share similar feelings and thoughts. Each year , especially developed countries are organized international
music
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festivals
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.Thank
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to
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these
festivals
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,
people
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 those love
music
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 are eager to attend these
festivals
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. Each festival has a specific topic and concept
such
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 as love, and peace in order to attract potential joiners.Those attending
festivals
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 not only
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listen
tolisten
Correct your spelling
to listen
Use synonyms
music
Change preposition
to music
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 at the same time, they consider over festival topic and concept.
For example
Linking Words
, in my ,village the natives are organized
music
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festivals
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 for supporting the village's peaceful atmosphere. And some investigations are done by scientists over
this
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music
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 festival.Survey shows us, with the commence of
this
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 festival, the rate of tourists
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 on the rise.So, it is fact that
music
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festivals
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 help us to collect
people
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 in the same direction. Nowadays, especially teenagers are addicted to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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music
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 on online platforms
such
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 as youtube, Spotify, Vimeo... These platforms are great ways to express human arts, and talents. In the old times, only a limited number of selection
humans
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 had to offer their skills.But today ,fortunately, via these tools
humans
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 express their feelings and ideas through
music
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. Even producers can take feedback from listeners from the comment section.It is an amazing opportunity to create bonds among listeners and producers. As time roll on, some producers may transform popular
people
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 and it
resultsresults
Correct your spelling
results results
 the enthusiasm
from
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of
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 listeners. Those listening same person , Ecole or group create a fun club on social media. By fun club,
Add an article
a
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strong connection is created among to attender.
As a result
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, it is clear that
music
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 has a powerful instrument to connect
humans
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 to each other.
Festivals
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 and social media, both of them play a significant role to get
humans
Use synonyms
 together...
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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