ZDeveloped countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in thier contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?

#countries #world #thier #contribution #dangers

Music

is a great context for getting together various types of

humans

naturally.

Humans

of different ages, cultures, and gender are able to come together in order to

tolisten

Correct your spelling

to listen

listen

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

Correct your spelling

agree

onagree

Correct your spelling

agree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

idea strongly...Two basic factors push me to think like

this

.One of them is international

music

festivals

.At the time of international

festivals

all around the world, a large number of

people

are collected in one centre. ,

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

even though

humans

do not share the same place, with

music

they can share similar feelings and thoughts. Each year , especially developed countries are organized international

music

festivals

.Thank

Change preposition

show examples

these

festivals

people

those love

music

are eager to attend these

festivals

. Each festival has a specific topic and concept

such

as love, and peace in order to attract potential joiners.Those attending

festivals

not only

Correct your spelling

listen

tolisten

Correct your spelling

to listen

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

at the same time, they consider over festival topic and concept.

For example

, in my ,village the natives are organized

music

festivals

for supporting the village's peaceful atmosphere. And some investigations are done by scientists over

this

music

festival.Survey shows us, with the commence of

this

festival, the rate of tourists

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

on the rise.So, it is fact that

music

festivals

help us to collect

people

in the same direction. Nowadays, especially teenagers are addicted to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

music

on online platforms

such

as youtube, Spotify, Vimeo... These platforms are great ways to express human arts, and talents. In the old times, only a limited number of selection

humans

had to offer their skills.But today ,fortunately, via these tools

humans

express their feelings and ideas through

music

. Even producers can take feedback from listeners from the comment section.It is an amazing opportunity to create bonds among listeners and producers. As time roll on, some producers may transform popular

people

and it

resultsresults

Correct your spelling

results results

the enthusiasm

from

Change preposition

show examples

listeners. Those listening same person , Ecole or group create a fun club on social media. By fun club,

Add an article

show examples

strong connection is created among to attender.

As a result

, it is clear that

music

has a powerful instrument to connect

humans

to each other.

Festivals

and social media, both of them play a significant role to get

humans

together...

Submitted by 0beyzakaplan on Fri Sep 23 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

355 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?