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Band 4

ZDeveloped countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in thier contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the dangers of global warming?

#countries #world #thier #contribution #dangers
Music
 is a great context for getting together various types of
humans
 naturally.
Humans
 of different ages, cultures, and gender are able to come together in order to
tolisten
Correct your spelling
to listen
listen
music
Change preposition
to music
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.I
Correct your spelling
agree
onagree
Correct your spelling
agree
this
Change preposition
with this
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 idea strongly...Two basic factors push me to think like
this
.One of them is international
music
festivals
.At the time of international
festivals
 all around the world, a large number of
people
 are collected in one centre. ,
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 even though
humans
 do not share the same place, with
music
 they can share similar feelings and thoughts. Each year , especially developed countries are organized international
music
festivals
.Thank
Change preposition
to
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these
festivals
,
people
 those love
music
 are eager to attend these
festivals
. Each festival has a specific topic and concept
such
 as love, and peace in order to attract potential joiners.Those attending
festivals
 not only
Correct your spelling
listen
tolisten
Correct your spelling
to listen
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
 at the same time, they consider over festival topic and concept.
For example
, in my ,village the natives are organized
music
festivals
 for supporting the village's peaceful atmosphere. And some investigations are done by scientists over
this
music
 festival.Survey shows us, with the commence of
this
 festival, the rate of tourists
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 on the rise.So, it is fact that
music
festivals
 help us to collect
people
 in the same direction. Nowadays, especially teenagers are addicted to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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music
 on online platforms
such
 as youtube, Spotify, Vimeo... These platforms are great ways to express human arts, and talents. In the old times, only a limited number of selection
humans
 had to offer their skills.But today ,fortunately, via these tools
humans
 express their feelings and ideas through
music
. Even producers can take feedback from listeners from the comment section.It is an amazing opportunity to create bonds among listeners and producers. As time roll on, some producers may transform popular
people
 and it
resultsresults
Correct your spelling
results results
 the enthusiasm
from
Change preposition
of
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 listeners. Those listening same person , Ecole or group create a fun club on social media. By fun club,
Add an article
a
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strong connection is created among to attender.
As a result
, it is clear that
music
 has a powerful instrument to connect
humans
 to each other.
Festivals
 and social media, both of them play a significant role to get
humans
 together...
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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