IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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These days
can be seen
Verb problem
,
show examples
 the cultivation industry has developed,
however
Linking Words
 many people around the
world
Use synonyms
 die because of being hungry.
This
Linking Words
 essay mentioned some reasons and
also
Linking Words
 recommended some solutions. Nowadays,
although
Linking Words
 cultivation has experienced
wide
Correct word choice
wider
show examples
 progress rather than
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 progress belongs to some communities and in many parts of the
world
Use synonyms
, agriculture
remained
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
 in the old way. In fact, these countries do not have the
technology
Use synonyms
 or infrastructure to do modern cultivation.
For example
Linking Words
, in Iran despite suitable land, people do not have modern tools or do not use modern method for agriculture, so the government need to import crops.
Additionally
Linking Words
, many parts of the country cannot afford to provide or import crops for their population.
For instance
Linking Words
, most African communities deal with being hungry.
This
Linking Words
 is because the governments do not have enough budget to provide
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to prevent from hungry, developed regions should cooperate with each other and can help other countries.
In other words
Linking Words
, reaching society by giving money or
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sciences to poor society can improve the
food
Use synonyms
 problem in the
world
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, Israel
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 the UAE and
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 them the
technology
Use synonyms
 to construct a building which can produce vegetables for all population of Dubai (which is located in the desert).
In addition
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, the UNESCO institute collects money and provides
food
Use synonyms
 for poor nations in Africa and helps them to survive. In conclusion, in my opinion,
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 the
technology
Use synonyms
 or being poor can make people hungry.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the communities which are reached and have the
technology
Use synonyms
, by cooperating with poor countries can solve the need for
food
Use synonyms
 around the
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by moradkhanighane on

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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