IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

According to some people spending a lot of money on marriage parties is a must. Others insist that lavish celebrations are a waste of money and resources. Both views will be discussed in this essay; however, in my opinion, it does not make much sense to spend a lot of money on celebratio

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In the contemporary epoch , it has become a trend of spending huge amounts of money ,especially on wedding ceremonies. It is often argued by many of them
that is
 it a useless activity. I totally agree with
this
 notion and in the following ,paragraphs I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 shed light on numerous reasons to support my stance. To commence with the facet of the agreement, there are myriad
this
 to be shared in its favour. First and foremost, paying a huge amount of cash to show pride can cause serious damage to the earth.
Moreover
, it requires lots of properties from the environment and it can lead to over-exploitation of nature.
Additionally
, it causes a dangerous impact on the land by the waste occurring after the parties.
For example
, plastic materials used in many celebrations do not dissolve into the soil and it remains the same and
also
 causes serious health issues like cancer.
Secondly
,
instead
 of paying for larger parties, the owner can think about contributing money to orphanages, old age homes and many people who are begging for food.
Following
this
, it can somehow reduce the poverty in the country. On the
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, another group of people believes it is the best way to show their dignity toward the public. In
this
 way, they find some confidence and feel proud .
Nonetheless
, it has a plethora of disadvantages.
Apart from
this
, few people think some celebrations are coming once in a
while
 so, they celebrate without thinking the corns to the nature.
To sum up
, in my opinion, parties are essential in our life for relaxation, we
also
 need to think about our future and should leave and protect some resources for our upcoming generation.
Submitted by rinirosejohnson on

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task response
Provide a more organized structure for your essay by introducing a clear thesis statement and supporting it with relevant points in an organized manner.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion by using transition words to connect ideas and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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