IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

#families
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, there has been a drastic change in relationships among family
members
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, people do not spend as much
time
Use synonyms
 with their family as they used to spend earlier. There are several factors for
this
Linking Words
 trend. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the reasons why
families
Use synonyms
 are not as close as they used to be by giving examples from Oxford University and The Times Magazine.
Also
Linking Words
, I will talk about the changes that can be made to make
families
Use synonyms
 closer. To commence with, life has become very fast, and in order to survive, one has to keep pace with it. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 has caused a rift among family
members
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the world has become very competitive. As
children
Use synonyms
 grow up, they look for other cities for their studies and employment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, parents can talk to their
children
Use synonyms
 only on calls or video and that too for a very short
time
Use synonyms
. Neither parents get to know what all things are going on in their
children
Use synonyms
's lives, nor do
children
Use synonyms
 bother to tell them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, no one has enough leisure
time
Use synonyms
 they can sit together with their family and have dinner. Everyone is busy earning money to improve their lifestyle.
Lastly
Linking Words
, now everything is available online.
However
Linking Words
, there is a large section of society that still maintain a good relationship with their family. Parents can ask their
children
Use synonyms
 to keep their mobile phones away at the dinner table.
Moreover
Linking Words
, elders can try to act as friends with young
members
Use synonyms
. Individuals can take up some activities that the whole family can enjoy. A paper published by California University states that folk who spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with family are happier than others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the government can provide discounts on trips which involve more than five family
members
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 every individual has a demanding schedule, they should take some
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their
families
Use synonyms
. It is important that the community should have good relations with their
families
Use synonyms
 because a small conversation with them can help to reduce stress and boost mood.
Submitted by abhiatmnnit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: