IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
In the contemporary era, there are many people who believe that the old generation is crucial for their blood. Whereas, other percentiles of the crowd think that juveniles are more important than them. Both views have their own reasons which will be discussed in impending paragraphs following my own opinion. To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why the community reckon that old mankind is more imperative for their broods than youngsters.
First
 and foremost, they have more experience than the younger generation. To elucidate, a large proportion of broods are mainly dependent on their seniors for suggestions related to any work or other things as they have more knowledge about the world than them due to which they are better at giving suggestions which would be beneficial for their close ones.
For instance
, a survey was conducted on 1000 families by an eminent personality in the U.S, which articulated that 71% of them are in favour of keeping their seniors as important members of their family because of their experience.
Thus
, old people are imperative for their family members as they help them by solving their problems with the help of their knowledge.
On the contrary
, there are certain groups of folks who vehemently contend that youth is more crucial than old-aged mankind. Primarily, they have the ability to make wages. To explicate, due to lack of strength, elders cannot able to earn money in order to live around the globe due to which they have to depend on their youngsters to earn remuneration.
Moreover
, youth will
also
 help their nation by inclining their economy's rate since they are making money.
Therefore
, youth are important as they not only help their parents to survive in the world but
also
 help the government by increasing their economic rate. To conclude, by analysing both the views, I am of the opinion that the young folks are most imperative than the elders as they have the capability to make rupees which is most crucial to surviving in life.
Submitted by harry.intellistall on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: