IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 are of the opinion that travelling between different
countries
Use synonyms
 has a detrimental effect on the planet, others suggest that it does better than harm. I tend to agree with the second group of individuals since
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 and cultural advantages have more weight in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
First,
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I am going to review the economic aspect of travelling. Some of the
countries
Use synonyms
 earn a lot of money because a tremendous part of their industries is busy in the tourism sector. Turkey is a good example of it. They have an infrastructure,
people
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 have huge experience in
this
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 and tourists are eager to visit the country and spend their money there.
Also
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, some
countries
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 do not have heavy or light industries, but they have a good location, near the sea,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why tourism is their chance to fulfil the state budget.
For instance
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, Shri-Lanka invested a lot of resources into
this
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 area and was quite successful in gaining decent revenue.
Secondly
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, cultural aspects are crucial as well. When
people
Use synonyms
 fly abroad, they become familiar with the traditions, local music, and food of their neighbours. As an example, I was surprised that the culture of Uzbekistan is so rich in terms of history, I think I
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 a bit more knowledgeable after I spent my holiday in
this
Linking Words
 country. But it makes better not only local cultures but a global one as well. Music is a good example, where
people
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 create hits using some traditional musical instruments. In conclusion, travelling across various
countries
Use synonyms
 makes us more wealthy and develops cultures. Both of these factors
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
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 a valuable role in making our future
more bright
Correct word choice
brighter
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and includes a thesis statement. Your conclusion should briefly summarize your main points and restate your position.
task response
You need to provide a more complete response to the task prompt. Make sure to address both the positive and negative impacts of international travel on the environment and present a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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