IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more children as accessing the internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this be solved?

#children #internet #age #risk #parents #face #be
Nowadays
children
 are using the
Internet
 without any supervision at an early age.
This
 can a lot of times heirs
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
face
problems
. How are guardians facing issues dealing with their kids using the
Internet
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I will discuss the effects and solutions in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
, within
this
 modern world it is important to learn about technology but youngsters are at risk if they use it without any guidance.
Firstly
,
children
 are very sensitive and vulnerable if they spend time on the
Internet
 consuming bad content it can impact their psychology in negative ways.
For instance
, the young generation is becoming more aggressive and indulging in crimes by playing video games.
Secondly
,it can restrict them from going outdoors and performing physical
activities
. To explain so many kids are facing health
problems
 because they are watching only on screens most of the time and not going out or having any eating schedules.
Moreover
, the bounding between
children
 and parents are becoming weak because they are not spending time together and are busy with online
activities
. Shifting towards the solutions that parents can take to prevent these
problems
 is they can observe their heir
Internet
activities
 and only give them mobiles to use for academic purposes. In other, words they can closely help their kids to identify the important things that they can do online. To cite an example they can restrict search browsers and can give access to knowledgeable things. To conclude it is very important to see the benefits and drawbacks of using the
Internet
 by young
children
 by parents and keenly observing the
activities
 of their heir can prevent
problems
.
Submitted by pandeypinki85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: