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Writing Samples
Band 6

Write a 4-paragraph essay of about 200-250 words on the following topic: Many young people spend a lot of time on the Internet without any parental supervision or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the Internet and what can be done to curb these

#topic #people #time #internet #supervision #control
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It is possible that the tendency of spending more
time
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 on the
internet
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 is more prominent in the young and that
also
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 affects social and
health
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problems
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.
This
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 essay will
firstly
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 discuss the
problems
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 caused by
frequent
Correct article usage
the frequent
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 use of computers and
then
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 suggest some
solution
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solutions
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 to the state. Wasting more
time
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 on the
internet
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 for many young people can lead to many
problems
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. The
first
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 problem is the lack of exercise that directly affects their
health
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. If they sit down or lie down for a long
time
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, it can be due to obesity and other
health
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problems
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such
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 as eye strain, headache, backache,... The
second
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 problem is having less
time
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 to rest. The young will have trouble going to school or going to work on
time
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 if they usually have more late nights.
Moreover
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, they will feel exhausted and take no notice of their lessons or jobs. There are some solutions that can lessen the
problems
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 described above.
Firstly
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, an effective solution would be to decrease doing exercise. The young have to spend more
time
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 doing new things to develop themselves.
In addition
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, they can participate in some clubs to meet new friends. Another solution is creating good habits.
Instead
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 of spending a lot of
time
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 on the
internet
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 over
mid-night
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midnight
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, they can do gentle exercises and sleep early to prepare
a
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for a
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new day. In conclusion, frequent use of wasting
time
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 on the
internet
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 in many young people can lead to their social and
health
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problems
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, so they need to use
time
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 properly.
Submitted by minhnguyenvic on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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