Write a 4-paragraph essay of about 200-250 words on the following topic: Many young people spend a lot of time on the Internet without any parental supervision or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the Internet and what can be done to curb these

#topic #people #time #internet #supervision #control

It is possible that the tendency of spending more

time

on the

internet

is more prominent in the young and that

also

affects social and

health

problems

This

essay will

firstly

discuss the

problems

caused by

frequent

Correct article usage

the frequent

show examples

use of computers and

then

suggest some

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to the state. Wasting more

time

on the

internet

for many young people can lead to many

problems

. The

first

problem is the lack of exercise that directly affects their

health

. If they sit down or lie down for a long

time

, it can be due to obesity and other

health

problems

such

as eye strain, headache, backache,... The

second

problem is having less

time

to rest. The young will have trouble going to school or going to work on

time

if they usually have more late nights.

Moreover

, they will feel exhausted and take no notice of their lessons or jobs. There are some solutions that can lessen the

problems

described above.

Firstly

, an effective solution would be to decrease doing exercise. The young have to spend more

time

doing new things to develop themselves.

In addition

, they can participate in some clubs to meet new friends. Another solution is creating good habits.

Instead

of spending a lot of

time

on the

internet

over

mid-night

Correct your spelling

midnight

show examples

, they can do gentle exercises and sleep early to prepare

Change preposition

for a

show examples

new day. In conclusion, frequent use of wasting

time

on the

internet

in many young people can lead to their social and

health

problems

, so they need to use

time

properly.

Submitted by minhnguyenvic on Sat Oct 01 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write a 4-paragraph essay of about 200-250 words on the following topic: Many young people spend a lot of time on the Internet without any parental supervision or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the Internet and what can be done to curb these

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?