one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. "Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The following bar chart collates the percentage of people in different fields of academic faculties. The contrast is presented between men and
women
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period of
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
in 2008. The graph shows that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
mostly
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
technical and hard sciences
such
as engineering, law, science and astronomy.
However
,
women
in most cases choose humanitarian science like history and arts. To be more specific, the sphere of engineering is primarily spread among
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
, because as counted in a graph,  almost 90% of workers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
faculty are men. Science(65%), law(60%) and astronomy(about 65%) areas are
also
preferred by
Add an article
the male
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
as
the
Change the word
their
show examples
percentage of them is higher than
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
. In the contrast to
Add an article
the male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the female's
show examples
female's
Fix the agreement mistake
females'
show examples
staff percentage is higher in history and art faculties with
predominance
Add an article
a predominance
the predominance
show examples
of 35% for history and 10% for arts.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
the selection of medicine faculty is
Correct your spelling
divided
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
equally between both
Correct your spelling
genders
show examples
ganders
Correct your spelling
genders
show examples
with a
light
Correct your spelling
slight
show examples
difference
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
5% for
women
. (156 words)
Submitted by Ozy_boy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: