Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that a person’s success is mainly obtained by good fortune.
While
I accept that luck might sometimes contribute to one’s achievement, I
also
believe that it is not the only way to prepare for someone’s accomplishment. On the one hand, a person can depend on luck to be successful.
For example
, there are not many career prospects for veterinarians in Vietnam.
According to
a statistic, most animal doctors reported that they were not happy with their
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
and they had a huge appetite to quit their jobs.
By contrast
, animal specialists in Western countries earn approximately $10,000 a month. What is more, they are provided with advanced technology and health care insurance during their contracts.
As a result
, the rate of vets who want to leave is very low compared to that of Vietnam.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that people need to make a lot of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
to make it to the top. It can be explained by the fact that Rome was not built in one day, and good things take time to learn and practice.
For instance
, Lang Lang who is a renowned pianist spends at least 8 hours practising his piano skill on a daily basis. Thanks to his determination and dedication, he has become one of the most distinguished classical pianists in the world. In conclusion, even though practice makes perfect and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can result in great achievements, people should not deny the significance of good luck in their success.
Submitted by phamduchien711 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the examples provided directly link to the main points and the overall argument of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to clearly connect ideas and improve coherence.
task response
Focus on providing more specific and relevant examples to support the argument and avoid generalizations. Ensure that every paragraph directly supports the main argument of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: