Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that a person’s success is mainly obtained by good fortune.

While

I accept that luck might sometimes contribute to one’s achievement, I

also

believe that it is not the only way to prepare for someone’s accomplishment. On the one hand, a person can depend on luck to be successful.

For example

, there are not many career prospects for veterinarians in Vietnam.

According to

a statistic, most animal doctors reported that they were not happy with their

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

and they had a huge appetite to quit their jobs.

By contrast

, animal specialists in Western countries earn approximately $10,000 a month. What is more, they are provided with advanced technology and health care insurance during their contracts.

As a result

, the rate of vets who want to leave is very low compared to that of Vietnam.

On the other hand

, it is undeniable that people need to make a lot of

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to make it to the top. It can be explained by the fact that Rome was not built in one day, and good things take time to learn and practice.

For instance

, Lang Lang who is a renowned pianist spends at least 8 hours practising his piano skill on a daily basis. Thanks to his determination and dedication, he has become one of the most distinguished classical pianists in the world. In conclusion, even though practice makes perfect and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can result in great achievements, people should not deny the significance of good luck in their success.

Submitted by phamduchien711 on Wed Oct 05 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the examples provided directly link to the main points and the overall argument of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to clearly connect ideas and improve coherence.

task response

Focus on providing more specific and relevant examples to support the argument and avoid generalizations. Ensure that every paragraph directly supports the main argument of the essay.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?