IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

These days people pay more attention to famous film stars than to famous scientists. Why is this happening? Explain the trend giving reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #attention #film #stars #scientists #trend #support
Nowadays, it is extremely complex to find room for technological improvement and
scientists
 took time and put efforts to come up with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
groundbreaking research without enough individuals realising the benefit. Stars and idols,
however
, catch everyone's eye and be appreciated more than the innovators just because they are good at entertaining
people
.
This
 essay explains the cause of it and provides examples to support the aforementioned statement.
First
 of all, stars are more visible to
people
 compared to those
scientists
 who,
instead
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
innovations are well-known, not the person inventing them. While film actors are required to show their faces, TV inventors,
for example
, do not need to expose themselves. They only need to show their successful products from the research.
Secondly
, actors must perfect their looks all the time on air while
scientists
' job does not need to be good-looking.
As a result
,
people
 tend to be attracted to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 idols more easily. An evident example would be the fact that there are tons of K-POP fans but there are no Albert Einstein fans, in fact, it is rather unusual to have it even though his scientific breakthrough is impactful to humanity. In conclusion, because of the fact that celebrities are common in any entertainment and
scientists
 are not required to look attractive,
people
 are likely to continue paying attention to famous movie stars over
people
 who bring innovations to society regardless of how beneficial their achievements are.
Submitted by piinn.tea on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: