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Band 5

You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements.

#college #cafeteria #lunchtime #improvements
College is
a
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the
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bestest
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best
 memory for
a
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the
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 young generation,
meanwhile
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,meanwhile
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i
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I
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 use to have my meal in a college canteen
everyday
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every day
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in
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apply
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a
Remove the article
apply
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lunchtime with my friends. In my inclination
cafeteria
 need some changes to facilitate
students
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students'
student's
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 comfort level.
This
 essay
further
elaborate
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elaborates
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 my view and
thus
 lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 and foremost difficulties
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 faced on daily basis is that
campus
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the campus
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 canteen
donot
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do not
don't
 have
a
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apply
show examples
proper seating
arrangments
Correct your spelling
arrangements
show examples
 which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
an
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apply
show examples
everyone use eat their lunch standing only.
However
, space in a
cafeteria
 is less which arise a problem of a
conjusted
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congested
conjured
 space.
Moreover
, lack of proper ventilation
lead
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leads
show examples
 to humidity as well as
warm
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a warm
show examples
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
environement
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environment
 in
canteen
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the canteen
show examples
. Probing ahead, improvement can be done by management in
such
a ways
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a way
ways
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like
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as
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 taking
a
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apply
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feedback
of
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from
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 each and every student so they can
analysis
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analyse
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such
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the such
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 problem and mitigate it.
In addition
 to
this
, proper space should be provided there for
a
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apply
show examples
students.
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Furthermore
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
installation
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the installation
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 of ventilators so it
decrease
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decreases
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 humidity and
keep
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keeps
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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 cool. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that there should be
proper
Change the article
a proper
the proper
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 number of seat arrangments so students can have their lunch.
For instance
,
survey
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a survey
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 conducted by
times
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the times
show examples
 of globe mentioned that in china
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the governement
show examples
Correct your spelling
government
governement
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government
 have proper rules and regulation for
cafeteria
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
show examples
 in a university that every student have to follow it
also
mantaine
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maintained
maintains
 a
decoram
Correct your spelling
decorum
. To recapitulate, according to the
agrument
Correct your spelling
argument
 aforementioned above one
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 to
conclusion
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the conclusion
a conclusion
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 that colleges should look after
educators
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educators'
educator's
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requirment
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requirement
what
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for what
show examples
 they need in
cafeteria
Add an article
the cafeteria
show examples
 and
impliment
Correct your spelling
implement
 it.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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