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Band 7

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people. Do the advantages of this situation overweigh disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation #overweigh
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It can be seen nowadays that certain countries have more adolescents in comparison to older individuals. From my perspective,
although
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this
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 trend has more pros than cons economy-wise older individuals are valuable to society
due to
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 their
skills
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 and wisdom. The notions will be examined in the essay. On one hand, the officials have to spend a lesser amount of money on the monthly allowance for retired
people
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 having a lesser number of elderly
people
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while
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 the younger and stronger generation works and pays taxes to the government making it richer.
For example
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, a study has shown that 75% of taxes and fees come from employed individuals aged from 21 to 48.
Therefore
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, the tendency
of having
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to have
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 a larger number of young
people
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 than pensioners is beneficial for economic growth and quality of life.
On the other hand
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, the older generation is the cornerstone of society thanks to its knowledge and experience.
For instance
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, new-melted professionals
such
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 as carpenters, plumbers and builders tend to take over knowledge and
skills
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 from their older seasoned co-workers because mastering these
skills
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 demands a mentor and it is difficult to acquire them through online courses.
That is
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 why it is a matter of high importance to have and value older
people
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 who have been sharpening their
skills
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 for many years and can convey them to younger generations. In conclusion, even though youth plays a crucial role in economic prosperity, it is still essential to have and respect the older generation that contributes to
adolescents
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescence
show examples
 thanks to its knowledge,
skills
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 and wisdom.
Submitted by ledlera93 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph presents a clear and focused argument with relevant supporting details.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages or challenges of having a larger number of young adults compared with older individuals to provide a balanced view of the topic.
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