In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Urban designers are increasingly planning to change the traditional form of many cities. In my point of view, the drawbacks of
this
trend outweigh the benefits and I will discuss my opinion in
this
essay. There are various reasons why re-creating urban areas is far more disadvantageous.
To begin
with, long distances between the workplace and home would cause heavy traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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which may lead to air and noise pollution.
For example
, in Tehran, many commuters or students who live in suburbs away from the city centre which includes offices and schools should spend hours on the roads in their cars or taxis during rush hours.
this
would
therefore
lead to more dependence on travelling by vehicles and motorcycles.
In addition
, most parents prefer to be close to their children's schools as they might get injured during sports classes or perhaps become sick. In the same way, hospitals should not be too far away from schools, offices, and residential areas in case of an emergency.
Moreover
, attracting customers to shopping malls that are away from the living environment can be unmanageable for store owners.
For instance
, most Iranian dwellers choose to buy their necessities from local shops rather than from large centres which makes them spend a lot of time on the way to reach them. In conclusion,
while
some planners tend to distinguish apartment buildings, educational institutions, stores, and
working places
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workplaces
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to reconstruct many cities, I believe that the potential negative consequences of
this
new planning method are undeniable.
Submitted by hee75230 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in the essay. Think about how you can provide a more balanced view by discussing potential advantages of the urban planning strategy as well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows good organization with clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence, consider using transition words to connect ideas more effectively throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion
Task Achievement
Strong examples to support main points

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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