In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food and other products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products

It is believed that

people

should stop using

animals

to serve their eating and clothing purposes. While I understand why some

people

may oppose

this

opinion, I still wholeheartedly agree with it for several reasons. Opponents of

this

view may have several arguments. They may well argue that meat is an important ingredient in meals. Due to the

reason

that meat can provide us with many nutrients

such

as protein in beef or omega-three derived from fish.

As a result

people

find it unacceptable to replace meat with other products. Another possible argument is that many body parts of

animals

can bring them a huge amount of money.

For example

body

Correct article usage

the body

show examples

parts of

animals

such

as fur are thick, soft and warm.

In addition

, some colours of

this

feature are gorgeous.

That is

the

reason

why

people

use

this

to make coats and other clothing items, which are regarded as luxurious items.

Consequently

, they can earn a lot of money from it and they may not agree if there is a law stopping them from using

animals

to make profits.

Nevertheless

, I still agree that

animals

should not be used for eating and clothing purposes anymore for several reasons. Chief among these is that nutrients found in

animals

can be found in nature

such

as omega-three in seaweed.

This

is the

reason

why there are many vegetarians nowadays.

Furthermore

, they

also

believe that

animals

should

also

have a right to live their lives.

Consequently

, there are a lot of debates on whether we should stop eating

animals

or not. The

second

reason

is that clothes that are similar to those made from animal parts can

also

be fake by using substances

such

as nylon and cotton.

This

industry not only makes a huge profit for them but

also

meets the needs of customers. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may not support the idea of avoiding using

animals

as food and materials for other products.

However

, I still strongly agree with

this

suggestion given the aforementioned reasons.

Submitted by tmibii48 on Thu Oct 06 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Animal welfare
Sustainable agriculture
Veganism
Carnism
Factory farming
Ecosystem degradation
Ethical consumption
Cruelty-free
Greenhouse gases
Plant-based diet
Nutrient deficiency
Cultural norms
Biotechnology
Animal-free products
Food security

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