Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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Nowadays, there are several diseases

occurred

Wrong verb form

that occur

show examples

due to

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high-

sugar

Use synonyms

food

Use synonyms

and beverages sold all over the world.

Therefore

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, some individuals suggest increasing the

price

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such

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products

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in order to make

people

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switch their preference to less

sugar

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versions. Regarding that opinion, I firmly believe that it is going to be an effective way to tackle health problems if the governments choose to make sugary

products

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more expensive.

To begin

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with, it is believed that higher prices will stimulate the public to think twice before deciding to buy

food

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drinks

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Although

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the

price

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differences might be insignificant, there are still greater chances for

people

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to compare with the other

products

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, especially the healthier ones. An outstanding example of

this

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is that

people

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tend to buy less

sugar

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cola in terms of soft

drinks

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since the

price

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is way cheaper than the other

drinks

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with normal

sugar

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levels.

Furthermore

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, the higher prices of unhealthy

products

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can be utilized by the government to subsidise fruits and vegetables. Subsidising organic foods will not only reduce the purchase of unhealthy

products

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

increase

people

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's tendency to choose way healthier

food

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. To illustrate, the money raised by the government from

sugar

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tax imposed within a country can be maximized to increase public awareness towards the importance of organic foods. In conclusion, I am convinced that making sweetened

food

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and

drinks

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more expensive can be implemented to reduce the increasing rate of health problems occurring these days. Increasing the

price

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and imposing a

sugar

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tax will make individuals have second thoughts before consuming unhealthy

products

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thus

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making communities more considerate towards their own well-being.

Submitted by michellyonggo on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task response

Your introduction is concise and clearly states your position. However, it could benefit from briefly outlining the points you will discuss in the essay to give the reader a clear roadmap.

task response

While you have provided relevant and strong examples, ensure that you continue to incorporate real data or studies to further bolster your argument. This will add depth and credibility to your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have maintained a logical flow throughout your essay, but be vigilant about minor grammatical issues. Proofreading your work can help catch these small errors.

task response

Your essay has a clear and direct approach, addressing the prompt effectively. The response is comprehensive and covers all aspects of the question.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining coherence throughout.

coherence cohesion

Your arguments are supported with relevant examples, making your points persuasive and well-founded.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

living in a country where you have to speak a foreigen language can cause seriouse social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.