Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are several diseases
occurred
Wrong verb form
that occur
due to
high-sugar
food
and beverages sold all over the world. Therefore
, some individuals suggest increasing the price
of such
products
in order to make people
switch their preference to less sugar
versions. Regarding that opinion, I firmly believe that it is going to be an effective way to tackle health problems if the governments choose to make sugary products
more expensive.
To begin
with, it is believed that higher prices will stimulate the public to think twice before deciding to buy food
or drinks
. Although
the price
differences might be insignificant, there are still greater chances for people
to compare with the other products
, especially the healthier ones. An outstanding example of this
is that people
tend to buy less sugar
cola in terms of soft drinks
,
since the Remove the comma
apply
price
is way cheaper than the other drinks
with normal sugar
levels.
Furthermore
, the higher prices of unhealthy products
can be utilized by the government to subsidise fruits and vegetables. Subsidising organic foods will not only reduce the purchase of unhealthy products
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
increase people
's tendency to choose way healthier food
. To illustrate, the money raised by the government from sugar
tax imposed within a country can be maximized to increase public awareness towards the importance of organic foods.
In conclusion, I am convinced that making sweetened food
and drinks
more expensive can be implemented to reduce the increasing rate of health problems occurring these days. Increasing the price
and imposing a sugar
tax will make individuals have second thoughts before consuming unhealthy products
, thus
making communities more considerate towards their own well-being.Submitted by michellyonggo on
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task response
Your introduction is concise and clearly states your position. However, it could benefit from briefly outlining the points you will discuss in the essay to give the reader a clear roadmap.
task response
While you have provided relevant and strong examples, ensure that you continue to incorporate real data or studies to further bolster your argument. This will add depth and credibility to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained a logical flow throughout your essay, but be vigilant about minor grammatical issues. Proofreading your work can help catch these small errors.
task response
Your essay has a clear and direct approach, addressing the prompt effectively. The response is comprehensive and covers all aspects of the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, maintaining coherence throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are supported with relevant examples, making your points persuasive and well-founded.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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