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Band 5.5

In many countries the age of criminals is getting lower. Give reasons and solutions to the problem

#countries #age #criminals
Most countries are facing an increase in crime rates and most alarmingly by young offenders. Many recent changes in family, educational and social structures are indirectly contributing to the surge of
youngster's
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters'
show examples
 criminal
offencers
Correct your spelling
offences
officers
offence
. Addressing the root causes would help in tackling
this
 serious
issue
 before it
escalate
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escalates
show examples
 to go beyond control.
To begin
 with, younger generations are inclined to engage in unlawful activities because they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
guidance. In older days,
children
 were brought up in a
close knitted
Add a hyphen
close-knitted
show examples
 environment, where the parents closely observed and protected them from danger.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug
 usage among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
children
were
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was
show examples
 kept quite low because of vigilant parents and teachers. Unfortunately, the
leanient
Correct your spelling
lenient
learning
 approach
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 raising kids has allowed them to fall prey to certain activities
such
 as
use
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the use
show examples
 of drugs and robberies
Thus
, lack of guidance in
upbringing
Add an article
the upbringing
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
children
chldren
Correct your spelling
children
 had created young criminals.
Furthermore
, rising poverty levels had contributed to
this
 problem. Because of recent
inflation
Add a comma
,inflation
show examples
 many families faces debts and fail to provide for their
children
. Schooling of
children
 is disturbed, and they fall
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the hands of criminal masterminds and become exploited.
For instance
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 clear evidence
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 poverty
Correct your spelling
increased
incresed
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increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal activities among younger people. In order to solve
this
issue
Add a comma
,issue
show examples
 law enforcement should have
stern
Correct article usage
a stern
show examples
 approach
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
tackling
tackeling
Correct your spelling
tackling
 the
drug
issue
. Education
istitutes
Correct your spelling
institutes
 should be protected from drugs. The offenders of
Add a hyphen
drug-related
show examples
drug related
Add a hyphen
drug-related
show examples
 activity should be rehabilitated and closely monitored.
Secondly
, families struggling with caring for
children
 should be supported
financialy
Correct your spelling
financially
 by the
Correct your spelling
government
governement
Correct your spelling
government
.
For example
, providing meals in the school would promote more school
Correct your spelling
attendees
atendees
Correct your spelling
attendees
. Needless to explain how
such
 simple interventions would invariably save the
children
's future. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, stealing and other unlawful
Correct your spelling
activities
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
 are on the rise, predominately among
adolescent
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adolescents
show examples
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
Correct your spelling
guidance
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
 and increase poverty. Tackling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug
 usage using law enforcement and supporting families to raise responsible
children
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
feasible
Add an article
a feasible
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for
this
issue
.
Submitted by ghm_day on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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