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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more values by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #values #society #musicians #artists
these days ,in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
 believe that
research
Replace the word
researchers
show examples
 and IT
specalist
Correct your spelling
specialist
specialists
 give more preference rather than the singer and
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
.
I'm totally agree
Change the verb form
I totally agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement.in
this
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 give my opinion and have to
agreed
Change the verb
agree
show examples
 with one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 statement.
in
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective view,
I'm agree
Change the verb form
I agree
show examples
 with
society
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 more
value
 who relate to the science field because scientists make new experiments for the country and technology
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 us
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 thing which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 many of the most
people
 give more
value
 to them. to illustrate, in
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
show examples
 every research advantage from the government and
society
also
 give more
respect
 to them as compared to the
artist
.
although
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 serval
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to treat well with
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 and engineers because of their qualifications and considered to be
reputable
Add an article
a reputable
show examples
 job in our community. many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 give more
value
 to them
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 researchers and engineers
white
Add a missing verb
are white
show examples
 collar occupations. to illustrate, in our community almost all the
people
 will suggest their kid
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
select their field
such
 as software.in many subcontinent
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
people
 give
value
 to the researcher because of their qualifications.
on the other hand
, some
people
 argue that
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 and
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
also
 give
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
value
 and
respect
 because
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
also
 show their own talent. it's not easy
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
musicians
Fix the agreement mistake
musician
show examples
Correct word choice
or and
show examples
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
artist
 because behind all
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 there are too many efforts .to illustrate, all around the world
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
celebrities like
atif
Change the capitalization
Atif
show examples
aslam
Change the capitalization
Aslam
Islam
show examples
 are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 account
respect
Change preposition
of respect
show examples
. some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are crazy about the singer . to sum up, research and technology experts are
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 more
respect
 in our
society
 than the singer and a person who
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
 . I suggest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reason
such
 as
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
qualified
Replace the word
qualification
show examples
 and make
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 easier for us
Submitted by aahil922 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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