Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

In
this
era of globalisation, lifestyle has changed a lot and society
try
Wrong verb form
is trying
show examples
to adjust to the varied situations. New innovations and technology make life easygoing. The easier life is, the more vulnerable we are to fatal diseases
due to
lack of action.
However
, there are certain ways to ensure that
people
are starting it again, which
this
essay will explain and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
state the cause for
this
issue.
To begin
with, in order to attain weight loss and make one's body fit, training is the primary initiative to take.
Nevertheless
, the public nowadays is not as interested as or not as cautious as the population who lived a decade ago
due to
the rather amusing services that technology provides as
people
choose lazy activities rather than hardworking processes.
Besides
that, perhaps some are having unsuitable circumstances to do walking and outdoor sports.
For example
, in Delhi, where air pollution is the highest, a number of residents do not prefer to go for morning walks.
Nonetheless
, there are some specific methods through which we can solve
this
matter.
For example
, scientists and doctors could upload a comprehensive video, which elaborates on the consequences of not doing enough workouts precisely, on social media platforms
such
as Facebook and YouTube which are the two most frequently utilised software.
Moreover
, physical performance like weight lifting
Add the comma(s)
, as well as pull-ups,
show examples
as well as
pull-ups could be done in a decent facilitated gym, which could be built in every city for free for 2 days a week if
people
are looking for an inexpensive method so that
people
could
also
get a public coach to do it properly.
To conclude
, it is definitely a concern that not enough physical task is exercised by many
people
.
However
,
this
could be solved by supplying informative videos, which involve detailed consequences, on social media so the community can allocate time for just doing exercise.
Submitted by milan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the causes of insufficient physical exercise and provides solutions. However, the introduction could be clearer and the conclusion could be more decisive in summarizing the solutions.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure but lacks clear transition between paragraphs. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened to better frame the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • digital entertainment
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian areas
  • time constraints
  • lack of awareness
  • active transportation
  • infrastructure
  • workplace wellness programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • incentivizing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: