Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children

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It is often debated whether a country's government is responsible for the rise in obesity rates among youngsters. I believe that

this

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statement is very true

due to

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the various reasons outlined below.

Firstly

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, adverts for fast food are on the rise nowadays. In return,

this

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leads to children unnecessarily begging their parents to buy them junk food.

For example

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, a study has proven that 89 per cent of children opt to go for eatables that pose health hazards to the body just because they've been shown an attractive advertisement about oily meals.

Hence

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, governments should actively take part in reducing the promotion of an unhealthy diet through the media or even publically by any means necessary. It is

also

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a widely known fact that unhealthy eatables are relatively cheaper in comparison to healthy and organic diets that are good for the body. Producers purposely do

this

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so that individuals have no option but to go for meals that aren't rich in vitamins.

For instance

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, it is proven that the prices of units sold at widely known franchises have dropped up to more than 40 per cent over the past decade.

Therefore

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, it is the country's duty to impose strict restrictions on businesses so that they can't continue to practice

such

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methods. In conclusion, it is important that governments set up certain rules about advertising and the pricing range of unhealthy diets.

Due to

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this

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, it is solely the government's fault that children of the younger generations have higher obesity rates compared to the younger generations of the past.

Submitted by rdbowalgaha on Mon Oct 10 2022

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task response

The essay adequately addresses the task and provides relevant examples to support the argument. It could benefit from a more balanced approach that acknowledges opposing views.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in outlining the argument and summarizing the main points.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

policies
responsibility
health and well-being
education and awareness programs
childhood obesity
food advertising and labeling
unhealthy food
supportive environments
recreational facilities
collaboration
healthcare providers

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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to control violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this action?