Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication hurts young people's reading and writing skills. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It has been observed that technology has been a big part of human lives and affects daily routines.
Although
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some believe that the utilisation of computers and mobile phones for exchanging ideas negatively affects adolescents' reading and writing skills. I firmly agree with the statement. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that having more technological devices changes the way of social life, where
people
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exchange their emotions and feelings without any effort.
For instance
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, a significant number of
people
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use phones to reach a person, which leads to a reduction in their imagination about the conversation.
Besides
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this
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, it is
also
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true that the profound emotions have vanished.
For example
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, in the past , lovers wrote letters for their relationship
and
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, and
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they felt their signs and scents on the paper.
Furthermore
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, the other reason to prove my point is the lack of tangible materials for any conservation creates a extremly meaningless words and phrases. Because of that, the language they use have change their brain activity and point of view about love and friendship.
In addition
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, the fact that decreases in reading book numbers would create a serious problem for literature.
On the contrary
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. Some
people
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counterclaim the mentioned support. The foremost argument they make is waiting time for a response significantly decreases. To add to
this
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,
people
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can talk with their family or friends at a time when they really need them , regardless of distance.
For example
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, some young adults immigrate to another country , even another continent , and they can talk and communicate with their family
although
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they have thousand kilometers.
To conclude
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the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact that technology makes communication easier, my reasons
that
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are that
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meaningful and noticeable interaction with the public is logically acceptable.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you agree, and keep this idea strong in all body parts.
task response
Use examples that match reading and writing skills more closely. Some examples are about love and feelings, not about reading or writing.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. Show how phone use causes weak reading and writing in young people.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some lines are hard to understand and this hurts flow.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction and kept the same side in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphs, and the essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You tried to add examples to support your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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