There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need Music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

There are various genres of sounds over the globe. The world is becoming a small village due to the area of globalization. Old-era

music

has more

importance

than the

now days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

tunes due to its

importance

of connecting the youth with their roots. In

this

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

show examples

I will discuss my point of view with some examples.

Firstly

, there is a study which shows that listening to

music

increases a

persons

Change noun form

person's

show examples

IQ level by 9 points by improving spatial reasoning.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

the people who do some creative or brainstorming jobs e.g mathematics, Marketing research, medicines etc melody can be of great help for

such

gems.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

nowadays therapists are using dancing as a treatment for heart disease, anxiety, depression, feeling of loneliness and obesity,

furthermore

research showed that 40 minutes

Zumba

Change preposition

of Zumba

show examples

is as effective as doing two hours of high-intensity exercises and its popularity is drastically growing among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women all over the world. Some schools are

also

teaching

music

as an extra subject nowadays because of its

importance

in enhancing the kid’s intellectual level and language improvement. Conventional

music

or the

music

of a particular area has its significant

importance

in connecting the people with their local artists, and understanding of culture, history and language. In conclusion, I would say

music

is the food for the soul and is an essential part of today’s life to feel stress-free and to cure minor mental illnesses. Even though youngsters listen to international songs too, traditional

music

is more essential.

Hence

, it cannot be overlooked.

Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on Tue Oct 11 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need Music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

With the fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people believe that university should offer places for people with high marks, Others says that universities accept all age of people even if they do not well at schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?