There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need Music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

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There are various genres of sounds over the globe. The world is becoming a small village due to the area of globalization. Old-era

music

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has more

importance

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than the

now days

Correct the word

nowadays

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tunes due to its

importance

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of connecting the youth with their roots. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add an article

an essay

the essay

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I will discuss my point of view with some examples.

Firstly

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, there is a study which shows that listening to

music

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increases a

persons

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person's

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IQ level by 9 points by improving spatial reasoning.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

,Also

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the people who do some creative or brainstorming jobs e.g mathematics, Marketing research, medicines etc melody can be of great help for

such

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gems.

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Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

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nowadays therapists are using dancing as a treatment for heart disease, anxiety, depression, feeling of loneliness and obesity,

furthermore

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research showed that 40 minutes

Zumba

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of Zumba

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is as effective as doing two hours of high-intensity exercises and its popularity is drastically growing among

the

Correct article usage

apply

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women all over the world. Some schools are

also

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teaching

music

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as an extra subject nowadays because of its

importance

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in enhancing the kid’s intellectual level and language improvement. Conventional

music

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or the

music

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of a particular area has its significant

importance

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in connecting the people with their local artists, and understanding of culture, history and language. In conclusion, I would say

music

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is the food for the soul and is an essential part of today’s life to feel stress-free and to cure minor mental illnesses. Even though youngsters listen to international songs too, traditional

music

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is more essential.

Hence

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, it cannot be overlooked.

Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on Tue Oct 11 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need Music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society

Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?