Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural back ground living together in the same country makes the country to develop faster.do you agree

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

Nowadays

people

Use synonyms

are migrating from one country to another country in search of better lifestyle or job opportunities.Many individuals assume that

kingdom

Correct article usage

the kingdom

show examples

grows very rapidly if the multinational and multicultural

people

Use synonyms

stayed together.I agreed with the former statement.I will explain it in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

successive paragraphs.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

Linking Words

with,the experienced and professional person when migrated

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spreads the knowledge and

invent

Change the verb form

invents

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new things with their experience.It intensifies the perception among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.So,it helps to rectify the existing working atmosphere and implement the new rules and

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

in the working culture that will increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity.

As a result

Linking Words

,it rises the development of the nation.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unique talent like dancing, swimming and lifting

Correct your spelling

etc

ect

Correct your spelling

etc

.When they migrated and participate in the different activities in the nation and

among

Change preposition

show examples

the world level that will be the proudest moment for that sovereign state. It will give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unique recognition among the countries.

Therefore

Linking Words

, It has

the

Correct article usage

show examples

crucial role in the growth of the sphere.

Body paragraph 2

Further

Linking Words

, when different cultural

people

Use synonyms

live together, they will raise

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity with their creative thinking in the work culture and find out the easiest way to work. They will live

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

with

Change preposition

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

manner

Fix the agreement mistake

manners

show examples

and rise the working trend of the nation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it improves the

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and spread the life culture of each other. It tells equality to the learners of the other areas. When different

people

Use synonyms

live and eat together and spread

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equality among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it develops the country steeply.

Conclusion

To conclude, we can say that

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the diversity in the province,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

improves the territory economically and raise

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

development.

ul.li.gu.shalmiev

Oct 12, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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