The population of many cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects on people living in these cities? What can be done to maintain the quality of life of these people?
It is undeniable that many metropolitans are experiencing many problems caused by the rapidly increasing number of citizens.
This
problem creates adverse impacts on city residents and should be addressed by taking the following solutions.
Overpopulation in urban areas has negative impacts on the quality of life for anyone living there. One of the obvious effects is that it worsens the
traffic congestion and raises incidents on Correct article usage
apply
any
roads. Correct quantifier usage
apply
For example
, people
living in Ho Chi Minh City have to waste too much time traveling during peak hours which leads to being late for work or reducing the level of productivity. Another undesirable impact is the air and noise population stemming from this
trend. The more people
living and working in big cities, the more gas emissions released
by vehicles. Polluted air may pose several threats Add a missing verb
are released
for
citizens’ health Change preposition
to
such
as respiratory diseases, headaches or serious mental health.
To tackle the extended population in large cities, the government and urban policymakers should take responsibility. One of the notable ways to solve this
issue is that the government should apply immigration policies to mitigate the trend. For instance
, the national governments can subsidize people
who choose to live and work in the countryside and provide cutting-edge technologies to develop the economy in rural areas. Another solution can
be implemented is that policymakers and authorities should diversify the means of transportation to alleviate the traffic jams in rush hours and construct more trees to mitigate toxic gas emissions. And to curb the detrimental health effects on urban residents, better healthcare should be applied.
Correct pronoun usage
that can
To sum up
, overpopulation is happening rapidly in big cities leading to negative impacts on social and individual levels, particularly on people
living here and several remedies should be taken to mitigate this
issue.Submitted by hieungan14214 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the issue of growing urban populations and its adverse impacts. You have effectively outlined the problems and suggested solutions, which shows a complete understanding of the task. However, consider offering more varied examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, with clear paragraphs that focus on specific points. Try to use more linking words and expressions to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, enhancing overall cohesion and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively, highlighting good coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, particularly referencing Ho Chi Minh City, is excellent. These examples validate your points and make your argument more relatable and persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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