IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some parts of the world, ownership of houses is privileged over rent.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon is
due to
Linking Words
 multiple factors and
this
Linking Words
 essay will develop these reasons in the following paragraphs and
also
Linking Words
 discuss why I personally claim that it is a positive situation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many people are motivated to buy a house
instead
Linking Words
 of paying monthly rent because of multiple reasons
such
Linking Words
 as having the privilege of owning their personal space. Citizens, especially in large cities, face difficulties
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
 apartments with reasonable prices, which leads to overly spending their incomes without gaining profit from it in the long run.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my home country, Morocco, many individuals would rather take loans from the bank to own a home than pay other people to live in their properties.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the privilege of owning a home is considered a luxury that many families seek. Why is
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon considered positive in my opinion ? I personally think that the benefits of ownership outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation gives the owner the freedom to control and modify his own space to his liking, which leads to a sense of fulfilment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, owning an apartment is rentable in the long term if one person decides to sell it after a period of time because these spaces never drop in price.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle gained a significant amount of money when he decided to sell his apartment to move to another country.
Thus
Linking Words
, everyone should consider owning a house at some point in their lives. To summarize, many factors drive people to ownership nowadays, which leads to rentable investments ,in the long run,
overall
Linking Words
 impacting them positively. Personally, I envision buying a property in the near future and I claim that everyone should try to own personal space.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the preference of owning a home over renting and expressing the author's positive view on this situation. However, the essay lacks a sufficient discussion of whether this is a positive or negative situation. More focus on addressing the specific prompts would improve the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion need further development to provide a more thorough framing of the essay. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: