In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?

In some parts of the world, ownership of houses is privileged over rent.
This
phenomenon is
due to
multiple factors and
this
essay will develop these reasons in the following paragraphs and
also
discuss why I personally claim that it is a positive situation.
To begin
with, many people are motivated to buy a house
instead
of paying monthly rent because of multiple reasons
such
as having the privilege of owning their personal space. Citizens, especially in large cities, face difficulties
to find
Change preposition
in finding
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apartments with reasonable prices, which leads to overly spending their incomes without gaining profit from it in the long run.
For instance
, in my home country, Morocco, many individuals would rather take loans from the bank to own a home than pay other people to live in their properties.
Moreover
, the privilege of owning a home is considered a luxury that many families seek. Why is
this
phenomenon considered positive in my opinion ? I personally think that the benefits of ownership outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
,
this
situation gives the owner the freedom to control and modify his own space to his liking, which leads to a sense of fulfilment.
Furthermore
, owning an apartment is rentable in the long term if one person decides to sell it after a period of time because these spaces never drop in price.
For example
, my uncle gained a significant amount of money when he decided to sell his apartment to move to another country.
Thus
, everyone should consider owning a house at some point in their lives. To summarize, many factors drive people to ownership nowadays, which leads to rentable investments ,in the long run,
overall
impacting them positively. Personally, I envision buying a property in the near future and I claim that everyone should try to own personal space.
Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on

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task response
Task response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the preference of owning a home over renting and expressing the author's positive view on this situation. However, the essay lacks a sufficient discussion of whether this is a positive or negative situation. More focus on addressing the specific prompts would improve the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion need further development to provide a more thorough framing of the essay. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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