It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in order to be successful,
one
must sometimes take a chance and jump into the unknown. It might not always turn out the way we wish,
however
, the hope and the possibility of something great happening pushes us to take a
risk
.
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
phenomenon
while
contributing my opinion. On the
one
hand, many breakthroughs happen when we take a chance when we have
this
feeling in our gut that pushes us to do something that superficially nobody accepts or understands.
For example
, I never forget the time that I changed my major from physics to graphic design. I took a
risk
and trusted my feelings that graphic design would be a better career for me,
while
everyone believed that I was making a rash decision.
Although
changing my major was not an easy task and it took me a few years to enter the workforce , the result of that decision made a great progression in my professional life.
Conversely
, you can not always rely on your feelings
while
making a life-changing decision.
For instance
, a
while
back in Iran a lot of people
gamble
Wrong verb form
gambled
show examples
their money on private stocks, they trusted some advertisements done by big companies and without doing proper research or even studying how the market works, they took a
risk
and bought their stocks and after a few months when the market
collapsed
Add a comma
,collapsed
show examples
they lost all their money.
to sum up
, no
one
can fully predict the future and
that is
why I believe before any action
one
should do all the necessary research and
then
listen to their feelings and
then
take the
risk
.
Submitted by p.shafiei.b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples and analysis to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: