IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

you are going to study at a college in another country. You need to find a place you will live. Write a letter to the college's accommodation officer. In your letter, give details of your course and your arrival date, describe the kind of accommodation you need and say what you like the accommodation officer to do

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Dear James I am writing to inquire about accommodation options for the upcoming academic year. I will be studying applied business management at Brigham Young College starting on September 28, 2024, and the program is a 3 years course with a six-month placement. My timetable is
such
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 that most of my lectures are in the early hours of the day. I am eager to find a comfortable and convenient place to live during my studies. I am looking for a single room close to the campus. I would prefer a quiet location around Toronto, a room with a private toilet and bathroom, and access to laundry and kitchen facilities. I would appreciate it if you could provide me with information about the available accommodation options that meet my requirements with their prices to help in my budget for an apartment . I would
also
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 like to know if there are any specific deadlines for applying for accommodation. Thank you for your time and assistance. Sincerely, Chiamaka Obi.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, you could provide more specific details about your preferences or any special requirements you may have, such as budget limits or preferred proximity to specific campus facilities. This would demonstrate a more complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next to enhance the logical structure. While your letter is well-organized, a thorough review for potential improvements in the flow could be beneficial.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your course, arrival date, and duration of stay which provides a complete response to a significant part of the task.
coherence cohesion
The letter is organized and adopts a logical structure, which makes it easy to follow your points one after another.
task achievement
Your use of a polite and formal tone is appropriate for an official letter, which contributes to the writing tone's suitability.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a single idea, which enhances the clarity and coherence of your letter.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of your letter are professional and suitable for the context, making your letter formal and respectful.
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