IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In modern times, people are more under stress more than ever. This has a negative impact on their well-being. State some of the causes and suggest possible solutions.

#times #people #stress #impact
In the modern world, many
people
 feel stressed from
time
 to
time
, which can affect their well-being negatively.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I would argue that there is one primary reason why they feel more under
pressure
, there are
also
 some steps that should be taken to deal with
this
 problem. There is one principal reason why
people
 nowadays feel under
pressure
 more than other generations. In order to deal with many myriads of financial problems, employees have to
work
 harder as a way to earn more money. Taking Korean as an example, they have to be under
pressure
 from overloaded
work
 in order to improve their life standard, so working the night shift is inevitable. Without breaking, the
pressure
 of doing too much will make them weigh seriously and face health problems. To tackle
this
 situation, several measures should be taken to help the public become less stressed and improve both their physical and mental health. The
first
 solution would be their
work
-life balance.
This
 could be done by reducing the overtime working hours.
This
 means that employees would leave
work
 earlier and have more
time
 for themselves. The
second
 solution is that exercise can easily reduce stress and anxiety. Going outside not only helps you be strong but
also
 feel comfortable after sitting on a chair all day long.
Moreover
, doing exercise can improve
people
's sleep quality and
this
 will lead to reducing stress and anxiety. In conclusion,
people
 can readily become stressed by the
pressure
 that
work
 brings to the employee so
people
 need to balance life and
work
, spending
time
 for themselves and their families to protect their health.
Submitted by npacademyenglish on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: