IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #suits #jeans #case #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, it is a common occurrence for residents of a country to
negelct
Correct your spelling
neglect
 their traditional
outfits
Use synonyms
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the fashion style of the west.
here
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 are multiple reasons behind
this
Linking Words
, and it has both merits and demerits.
One
Use synonyms
 of the leading reasons that
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
 considering is how advanced information technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been in recent years. Many social
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 have been advertising the charming and glamorous aspects of
Correct your spelling
western
westen
Correct your spelling
western
 clothing and with the connection to the internet,
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 are capable of obtaining these products more than ever.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, another cause can be some people believing these
outfits
Use synonyms
 bring them a sense of social confidence. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to the positive sides of
this
Linking Words
 trend, it should be noted that the clothing style from the west
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a vibe of simplicity and
fredom
Correct your spelling
freedom
 that some traditional
outfits
Use synonyms
 may lack.
This
Linking Words
 is because many clothing styles in different nations are designed and worn in a complicated way that limit
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 movements. Another advantage can be the unification it brings to a community as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uniforms can bring people a feeling of equality.
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand,
one
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 it can lead to cultural dilution. To be clearer, every culture of its own personality and
this
Linking Words
 personality can be observed by its customs and clothing style.
Hence
Linking Words
, the overly use of
Correct your spelling
western
westen
Correct your spelling
western
outfits
Use synonyms
 can make those unique
Correct your spelling
characteristics
characterisctics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
 fade away.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the climate and weather conditions in many countries may make it not suitable to wear
Correct your spelling
western
westen
Correct your spelling
western
 fashion. To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it is clear that technology and personal preferences are the two main reasons why a large number of people choose suits and jeans over traditional clothes, and
this
Linking Words
 trend has both positive and negative results when looked
from
Change preposition
at from
show examples
 different angles.
Submitted by diemdt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: