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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some parents think it is a good idea to give their children mobile phones, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #idea #children #phones
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Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents
Use synonyms
 believe it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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ideal to give their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
, but whilst others disagree with
this
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 statement.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
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 essay
ought
Add the word
toought
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 view both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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side and
also
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 give your personal point of view.
To begin
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 with, The
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
important
Add a missing verb
are important
show examples
 thing for their
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
firstly
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, I would like to highlight that
parents
Use synonyms
 give more preference to giving
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 to their
kids
Use synonyms
 because they can take help in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
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lifestyles
Replace the word
lives
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.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 think that their
kids
Use synonyms
 can take help from their
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 to make
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 easier in their life.
For instance
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, In
england
Change the capitalization
England
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 96%
Use synonyms
parents
Change preposition
of parents
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 think that giving
phones
Use synonyms
 to their children
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 their life easier while making assignments
of
Change preposition
for
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 their schools.
Furthermore
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,
Parents
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 think that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are base need of their life in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 era. Because through smartphones
kids
Use synonyms
 can inform their
parents
Use synonyms
 and let them about the exact location.
For example
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,
In
Change preposition
At
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my
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age when I go
for
Change preposition
to
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takimg
Correct your spelling
taking
 class so I inform my
parents
Use synonyms
 by using
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
my phones
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phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
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.
On the other hand
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, Some
people
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 argue that it isn't
good
Add an article
a good
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 idea for giving
phones
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 to their
kids
Use synonyms
. because
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
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 easy to access
on
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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bad websites by using smartphones. To illustrate, 25 % of
kids
Use synonyms
 are using pornhubs online sites on their
phones
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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why many
parents
Use synonyms
 aren't comfortable enough to
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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phones
Use synonyms
 to
Correct your spelling
children
Correct pronoun usage
their childrens
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
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moreover
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would to like highlight some
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 view
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 giving
phones
Use synonyms
 to
Correct your spelling
children
children's
chlidrens
Correct your spelling
children
 is quite different. because many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students are
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using mobiles
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Add a missing verb
are addict
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addict
Replace the word
addicted
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of
Change preposition
to
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 playing video all the time and wasting their time . To sum up.
Correct your spelling
some
soms
Correct your spelling
Some
 think that it is a good idea for giving
phones
Use synonyms
 to
kids
Use synonyms
 but other
people
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
disagree
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with it.
such
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 as students can help in daily lifestyle and
also
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 help them for
kids
Use synonyms
fo
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 inform their
parents
Use synonyms
 everything.
Submitted by aahil922 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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