IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence
In various countries around the world,
people
 have different opinions about the role and impacts of
music
 on themselves and their communities. From my view, I believe that
music
 is important for humans but listening to it has some limits. Those who argued that
music
 can bring only positives to
people
 and societies had two views. From
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
 perspective,
music
 is a huge industry estimated at billions of dollars and can be an important financial resource to the country.
In addition
 to that, there are many personal and monetary gains from singing, selling and trading in local musical concerns.
For example
, the huge festivals organized by companies in that sector
such
 as MTV and Bad Boys contributed positively to the black community in the USA.
Furthermore
, from a personal perspective,
music
 can make a person much calmer, happier and more productive. It has a good influence on the emotional stability of
people
.
Therefore
, many could argue
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 melodies are to be advantageous to human beings.
Conversely
, those who claim the negative impacts of tones on personnel and societies have two main reasons.
Firstly
, they think that authorities should focus on more important agendas
such
 as education and health sectors.
Additionally
, musical events can send distorted hidden messages to the new generations and teenagers that can encourage them to do things against the community's values.
For example
, transgender and bisexual concepts.
Finally
, drug usage and distribution are quite known at
such
 events under the cover of listening and enjoying
music
. To Conclude, regardless of the reasons why
people
 could stand for or against the
music
, it is important to balance between the significance of enjoying tunes and considering it as a cultural background to represent different civilizations, and
on the other hand
, not making it the ultimate goal for a person.
Submitted by moh_zno on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Rhythm
  • Socio-cultural
  • Artistic expression
  • Cognitive development
  • Soundtrack
  • Moral implications
  • Acoustic ecology
  • Intellectual property
  • Authenticity
  • Commercialization
  • Media literacy
  • Sensory overload
  • Acculturation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: