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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that competitive sports such as soccer can help to reach cultural interaction among people of different age groups and nationalities, but others think that it would cause problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #soccer #interaction #age #groups #nationalities
In contemporary settings, the vast majority of people are impatiently waiting for
sports
events
 to happen in their
countries
.
While
 some people believe that hosting
such
sports
 competition has been causing tension between different
countries
, I believe that
such
events
 have been bridging the gap among different nations. It is true that conflicts among different
countries
 may become worse during
such
events
.
This
 is mainly because some crazy fans of certain sport teams or sportsmen sometimes cannot digest the failure of their teams or athletes, and they may fight against the followers of other teams.
For example
, after the Russian football team was defeated by the French team in the 2016 European football game, angry Russian fans threw bottles at French fans in the night clubs and
this
 led to serious fights.
Hence
, the French government decided to tighten the visa rules for Russian citizens, and
this
 exerted adverse influence on the
relationships
 between these two
countries
.
However
, in most cases, holding international
sports
events
 has been playing an imperative role in promoting the
relationships
 between different nations. During
such
events
, foreign athletes and spectators have the opportunities of learn the culture and traditions of the host nation, and
this
 can mitigate any cultural bias and contribute to the improvement of their
relationships
.
Such
 understanding fosters better
relationships
 among people of different colors, races or backgrounds. In conclusion,
while
 the conflicts between athletes or audiences may arise during international
sports
 competitions, holding
such
events
also
 improve
relationships
 between different nations.
Submitted by jassd1836 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the linking of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and enhance its overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion by addressing both views on the topic and presenting your own opinion. This is important for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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