One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expenctancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expenctancy #development

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In the modern era, the advancement of healthcare enables people to live longer.

This

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can cause numerous benefits to mankind, while it can potentially lead to some drawbacks.

This

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essay will examine and compare the pros and cons of medicinal development. Many advantages can be received from the improvement of hospitalization.

First

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of all, elders who might be our beloved parents and grandparents can stay with us longer. As the result, family members are happier because the loss of a close person always makes individuals sad and upset. According to the report by WHO, 90 per cent of people suffered from depression and anxiety due to tragic deaths caused by any reason.

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, As humans have an averagely longer

life

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, we can enjoy the world longer. To illustrate, the average

life

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expectancy of everyone in the USA is around 75

years

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old, and we normally spend many decades in education and working until we get retirement at the age of 60

years

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old.

Therefore

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, we have only 15

years

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left to take the rest of

life

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and live with family.

However

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, if the average

life

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was increased up to 90

years

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old, we would have more time to enjoy the world.

That is

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why longer

life

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always brings joyfulness and happiness to everybody.

In contrast

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, too much time living on the earth

also

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has adverse consequences for individuals and nations. In case that living alone without any relatives or friends left, how would it feel? the rest of

life

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will be a tough time to live.

In addition

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, the government needs to advocate a large amount of budget for retired citizens who cannot make any income to the countries because these elders do not work anymore, so they pay fewer taxes.

However

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, the authority still needs to provide them with financial support monthly, which can be considered a major burden for the nation because the government can invest

this

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considerable amount of money to develop other aspects.

Hence

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, the increase in old people can lead to the loss of national expenditure. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of

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enhancement

include

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including

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bringing happiness to family members and the capability to enjoy lives longer absolutely outweigh its drawbacks.

Submitted by pantamitsaekong on Mon Oct 17 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

368 words

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expenctancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?

In some countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation? w

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?