One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expenctancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expenctancy #development

In the modern era, the advancement of healthcare enables people to live longer.

This

can cause numerous benefits to mankind, while it can potentially lead to some drawbacks.

This

essay will examine and compare the pros and cons of medicinal development. Many advantages can be received from the improvement of hospitalization.

First

of all, elders who might be our beloved parents and grandparents can stay with us longer. As the result, family members are happier because the loss of a close person always makes individuals sad and upset. According to the report by WHO, 90 per cent of people suffered from depression and anxiety due to tragic deaths caused by any reason.

Furthermore

, As humans have an averagely longer

life

, we can enjoy the world longer. To illustrate, the average

life

expectancy of everyone in the USA is around 75

years

old, and we normally spend many decades in education and working until we get retirement at the age of 60

years

old.

Therefore

, we have only 15

years

left to take the rest of

life

and live with family.

However

, if the average

life

was increased up to 90

years

old, we would have more time to enjoy the world.

That is

why longer

life

always brings joyfulness and happiness to everybody.

In contrast

, too much time living on the earth

also

has adverse consequences for individuals and nations. In case that living alone without any relatives or friends left, how would it feel? the rest of

life

will be a tough time to live.

In addition

, the government needs to advocate a large amount of budget for retired citizens who cannot make any income to the countries because these elders do not work anymore, so they pay fewer taxes.

However

, the authority still needs to provide them with financial support monthly, which can be considered a major burden for the nation because the government can invest

this

considerable amount of money to develop other aspects.

Hence

, the increase in old people can lead to the loss of national expenditure. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of

this

enhancement

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

bringing happiness to family members and the capability to enjoy lives longer absolutely outweigh its drawbacks.

Submitted by pantamitsaekong on Mon Oct 17 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

368 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expenctancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe a challenging situation or an obstacle you encountered during your studies and elaborate on the steps you took to navigate through it.

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that it is better to educate girls and boys in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.