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Writing Samples
Band 6

‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

#‏in #countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #‏do #be #schools
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It is often argued that
uniforms
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 are compulsory in schools, but some people do not agree they should be. I strongly believe it is extremely important for
children
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 to wear them as it helps to identify how to make part of the institution and for the
students
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only
Fix the infinitive
to only
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 focus on studying. The following paragraphs will highlight the reasons and some relevant examples. First of all, schools have a huge responsibility for their
students
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while
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 they are inside or around it.
Uniforms
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 assist professionals who work at the school to identify their
children
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, that way it is possible to easily recognise visitors.
For instance
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, if a child wants to try to get out earlier, the concierge could identify him from his clothes and avoid putting him in danger.
Therefore
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,
uniforms
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 help a lot of people who work there and
also
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 prevent accidents.
In addition
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, teenagers tend to show off from the way they
dressup
Correct your spelling
dress up
. It is common to see girls wearing short skirts and small tops
as well as
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 boys
using
Verb problem
wearing
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 big brands of clothes and shoes.
Consequently
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, they stop concentrating on their studies to focus on what they are going to wear the next day or per attention to other
children
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's
wearing
Verb problem
clothing
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.
For example
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, a boy could easily get distracted by a girl who wears a small skirt in the classroom,
instead
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 of per attention to the subject. For that reason,
children
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 should not wear the clothes they want as it can be harmful to their education.
To conclude
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, in my opinion,
students
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 should wear
uniforms
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. It is a positive way for the school to control their
students
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 and
also
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 prevent
students
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 from getting distracted.
Submitted by izabellaveronesi on

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the given prompt and clearly presents a stance on the issue. Develop and support the main points effectively to provide a complete and comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be improved for better clarity and impact. Use clear transitions and topic sentences to enhance the coherence of the essay.
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