Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some maintain that wealth brings happiness to

people

. There are several reasons accounting for

this

phenomenon.

However

, in my opinion, other factors are

also

essential to

joyness

Correct your spelling

joyousness

people

life

. For starters, wealthy

people

tend to lead a

Correct your spelling

carefree

show examples

care-free

Correct your spelling

carefree

show examples

life

. They could purchase outfits made by famous designers and luxurious cars. During holidays, they travel by private

airplanes

Change the spelling

aeroplanes

show examples

to go on

family

Add an article

a family

show examples

trip

Fix the agreement mistake

trips

show examples

abroad.

Correct your spelling

Additionally

Additional

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

people

with fortune are more likely to have privileges over others, as they can afford the extra costs.

For instance

, they will receive immediate medical care from top physicians

instead

of waiting for

Change the article

show examples

appointment for a long period of time. Children of celebrities are often sent to prestigious private schools, where they will get

the

Correct article usage

show examples

education of high quality. Granted that money can bring happiness and convenience to

people

, there are

also

other crucial factors which should be taken into

considerations

Fix the agreement mistake

consideration

show examples

Firstly

, friendship and family ties are significant for a happy

life

. If

people

had few friends or had intense relations with family, they would have a sense of isolation.

Therefore

, they might experience depression even if they are billionaires.

Change preposition

The

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place,

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

of achievement in jobs can make

people

feel fulfilled and happy.

In other words

, surgeons are relieved when they successfully have saved patients by performing operations.

Besides

wealth and

luxurious

Correct article usage

a luxurious

show examples

lifestyle,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

happy

life

also

the result of

Correct your spelling

personal

peronal

Correct your spelling

personal

interactions with friends and family, as well as satisfying jobs. In conclusion, the rich can lead a luxurious and happy

life

without

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

economical concerns.

However

, bonds with friends and family members and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

in the workplace are

also

important in the pursuit of happiness.

Submitted by 1123747551 on Tue Oct 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this situation cause, and what solutions can you suggest?
In these modern days, economic play a vital role in all countries and individuals, everyone must have money to buy things. Recently, some people claims that the gap between the rich and poor is widening in many areas of the world. From my point of view, it has been a serious issue that cannot be ignored by government and public.
7.5
band
The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?
As the modern world is advanced and peaceful, the barrier preventing humanity from overpopulating is crumbling. As of 2023, there are over 8 billion individuals walking the Earth, posing a great threat to ourselves. Provided that humanity has faced and overcome infinite threats, some of which could obliterate all civilization, I believe overpopulation isn’t the greatest issue we’ve faced.
6.5
band
Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
It is true that youngsters nowadays are having a tendency to leave the countryside and attend education and employment in the cities. Although this has some drawbacks, I believe the merits are more significant due to a range of reasons.
5
band
Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
From the dawn of civilization, Punishing a criminal person has been a matter of debate. In this respect, some experts argue that fixed punshiment should be used to every crimes, while others believe that every case has its own case and there will be a different motivation or comitment for it. I am in favour of former argument.
7.5
band
Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. as part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. give reasons for your answer.
In this contemporary epoch, the maximum youngster has a boyfriend or girlfriend as they do not want to live alone. Some people say that it is not beneficial to have a partner at a very young age while critics do not agree. I wholeheartedly believe that having a partner is a huge financial burden and a stress. This essay will delve into both viewpoints and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this situation cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. as part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. give reasons for your answer.