Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Some maintain that wealth brings happiness to

people

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. There are several reasons accounting for

this

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phenomenon.

However

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, in my opinion, other factors are

also

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essential to

joyness

Correct your spelling

joyousness

people

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

. For starters, wealthy

people

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tend to lead a

Correct your spelling

carefree

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care-free

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carefree

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life

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. They could purchase outfits made by famous designers and luxurious cars. During holidays, they travel by private

airplanes

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aeroplanes

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to go on

family

Add an article

a family

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trip

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trips

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abroad.

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Additionally

Additional

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

people

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with fortune are more likely to have privileges over others, as they can afford the extra costs.

For instance

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, they will receive immediate medical care from top physicians

instead

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of waiting for

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show examples

appointment for a long period of time. Children of celebrities are often sent to prestigious private schools, where they will get

the

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show examples

education of high quality. Granted that money can bring happiness and convenience to

people

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, there are

also

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other crucial factors which should be taken into

considerations

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consideration

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Firstly

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, friendship and family ties are significant for a happy

life

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. If

people

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had few friends or had intense relations with family, they would have a sense of isolation.

Therefore

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, they might experience depression even if they are billionaires.

Change preposition

The

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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second

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place,

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

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of achievement in jobs can make

people

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feel fulfilled and happy.

In other words

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, surgeons are relieved when they successfully have saved patients by performing operations.

Besides

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wealth and

luxurious

Correct article usage

a luxurious

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lifestyle,

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apply

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happy

life

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also

Linking Words

the result of

Correct your spelling

personal

peronal

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personal

interactions with friends and family, as well as satisfying jobs. In conclusion, the rich can lead a luxurious and happy

life

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without

much

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many

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economical concerns.

However

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, bonds with friends and family members and

fulfillment

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fulfilment

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in the workplace are

also

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important in the pursuit of happiness.

Submitted by 1123747551 on Tue Oct 18 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information.

Some people strongly oppose animal experimentation, believing that it causes pain to animals, while some other people consider it necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some cities have few controls over the design and construction of housing and office buildings. People think that they should be free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?