Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some maintain that wealth brings happiness to
people
. There are several reasons accounting for
this
phenomenon.
However
, in my opinion, other factors are
also
essential to
joyness
Correct your spelling
joyousness
in
people
's
life
. For starters, wealthy
people
tend to lead a
Correct your spelling
carefree
show examples
care-free
Correct your spelling
carefree
show examples
life
. They could purchase outfits made by famous designers and luxurious cars. During holidays, they travel by private
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
to go on
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
abroad.
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
people
with fortune are more likely to have privileges over others, as they can afford the extra costs.
For instance
, they will receive immediate medical care from top physicians
instead
of waiting for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
appointment for a long period of time. Children of celebrities are often sent to prestigious private schools, where they will get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education of high quality. Granted that money can bring happiness and convenience to
people
, there are
also
other crucial factors which should be taken into
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
show examples
.
Firstly
, friendship and family ties are significant for a happy
life
. If
people
had few friends or had intense relations with family, they would have a sense of isolation.
Therefore
, they might experience depression even if they are billionaires.
In
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of achievement in jobs can make
people
feel fulfilled and happy.
In other words
, surgeons are relieved when they successfully have saved patients by performing operations.
Besides
wealth and
luxurious
Correct article usage
a luxurious
show examples
lifestyle,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
happy
life
is
also
the result of
Correct your spelling
personal
peronal
Correct your spelling
personal
interactions with friends and family, as well as satisfying jobs. In conclusion, the rich can lead a luxurious and happy
life
without
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
economical concerns.
However
, bonds with friends and family members and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
in the workplace are
also
important in the pursuit of happiness.
Submitted by 1123747551 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: