IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #citizens #money #taxes #education #healthcare #situation
Tax
Add an article
The tax
show examples
 has long been a controversial issue, especially when
people
are struggle
Change the verb form
are struggling
show examples
 with economic uncertainties and higher
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 of living. Some may complain that
tax
 is a financial burden when it undermines their buying power significantly.
However
, I believe that we are beneficiaries rather than victims of taxation. The reasons for levying
tax
 are manifold. With
tax
 revenues, the
government
 can pump money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 public facilities, including public schools, hospitals, and nursing
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, which are essential to the public well-being. Despite handing in some of the
people
’s savings to the
government
,
people
’s needs are taken care of by the
government
, which may be cheaper than
people
 pay for these services themselves.
Moreover
, the
government
 can achieve the goal of income redistribution and bridge the gap between rich and poor by taxation.
For instance
, in many countries, the high-income group needs to pay high
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
,
on the contrary
, the group of low-income
people
 can get assistance from the
government
. Taxation is
also
 one of the important approaches to
intervene
Wrong verb form
intervening
show examples
 in the economy.
For instance
, when one country’s economy experiences a downturn, the
government
 needs to reduce the
tax
 to encourage public consumption and business investment.
Likewise
, the
government
 may levy higher taxes to curb consumption in order to avoid economic
over-heating
Correct your spelling
overheating
show examples
. Another purpose of
tax
 collection is to regulate
citizen’s
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In some countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cigarette and alcohol are heavily taxed to discourage
people
 from consuming unhealthy items. The truth is that without
tax
 revenues, the country would not function well,
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 many public services are no longer accessible.
Submitted by xinxinchen7777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equitable access
  • Public health
  • Literacy rates
  • Social inequalities
  • Government accountability
  • Standard of living
  • Financial burden
  • Taxpayers
  • Government inefficiency
  • Quality of services
  • Competition
  • Personal responsibility
  • Self-reliance
  • Overreliance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: