Some people believe that modern technology has enhanced sociable behavior, but others think it has reduced social interactions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has been proven that modern technology has an impact on social behaviour. Some people claim that
this
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revolution enhances human relationships,
while
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others envision that it has a negative impact on us by reducing our real-life interactions. I will discuss both these viewpoints in the following paragraphs
as well as
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why I personally think that we should find a balance between the positive and the negative sides of
this
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change.
To begin
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with, modern technology surely has a great influence on our social behaviour.
Firstly
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, the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
facilitated
Wrong verb form
facilitates
show examples
communication between individuals as it is a fast and easy way to reach others.
Moreover
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, using mobile phones is a time-saving method that aligns with the busy life we currently live in. During the recent pandemic,
for example
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, getting benefits from our phones was the only way to maintain human relationships when physical gatherings were forbidden.
Thus
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, the internet has impacted our bonds positively on one hand.
On the other hand
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, we can not deny the fact that
this
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revolution has a negative impact too, as some people claim. It is clearly noticed that smartphones have replaced a big part of our social interactions, leading to people abandoning real-life meetings and replacing them with online interactions
instead
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. Unfortunately,
this
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method does not fully replace face-to-face gatherings.
For instance
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, a study I read recently suggested that humans require physical contact in order to preserve their mental well-being.
Consequently
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, the drawbacks of the internet should be taken seriously. To summarize, I personally think that we need to find a balance between the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology, by benefiting from the easy use of
this
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revolution
while
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also
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maintaining healthy relationships by planning dates and meetings in real life rather than virtual ones.
Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on

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task response
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing a personal opinion. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and counterarguments to strengthen the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented. The essay maintains coherence and cohesion through the use of transition words and logical progression of ideas. However, more development of ideas and connections between examples would further enhance coherence.
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