IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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A healthy life and
exercise
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 are comprehensive manners to be healthy, and they are essential rather than going to the doctor to get some help. I Agree with
this
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 statement. The minister of health gives attention to
this
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program
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 in increasing the
people
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's habit to active in sports and consuming food with rich nutrition. I will discuss
this
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 topic in
this
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 essay in two parts. Benefit for
this
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program
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 and how to do
this
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. I start with the benefits that
people
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 get from
exercise
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.
Exercise
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 is a way to move the
body
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 in sports and make the
body
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 burn some calories resulting from carbohydrates and fat to get energy.
For example
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,
this
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 process causes the fat in your
body
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 will be lost, and your blood will flow into part of your
body
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. After that, you feel better than before.
In addition
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, doing
exercise
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 will impact your cost. With a healthy
body
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, you do not need to pay the doctor to go for a consultation and get a receipt. How does the
program
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 do? if you want to go to
exercise
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 and get useful from them, you must pay attention to
this
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 role,
that is
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, frequency, intensity, and time. Frequency is how many times
people
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 do the
exercise
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 in one week. Intensity is how heavy the
exercise
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people
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 do. Time is how long the
exercise
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people
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 do in one time practice. All these items must be included in an
exercise
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program
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.
For instance
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. the person does practice three times in one week. doing
exercise
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 in thirty minutes, and the intensity of
exercise
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 is 80% of maximum abilities. in conclusion.
Exercise
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 is a comprehensive manner to be healthy and
this
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 way can decrease the cost to disappear the sick from the public.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear logical structure by using cohesive devices effectively and arranging ideas in a paragraph properly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction must explicitly respond to the task with a clear thesis statement. Conclusion should echo the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific details and examples to illustrate arguments convincingly.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring a response that completes the prompt and shows a clear position throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop comprehensive and clear ideas related to the essay topic, providing a balanced discussion where necessary.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples that effectively support the main ideas and arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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