Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Groups of
people
believe that social
media
applications and websites
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
positive results in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
however
, others think these types of applications
such
as Facebook or Twitter only have drawbacks and negative roles in teenage
people
and their communication skills, in
this
essay both views will be discussed. On the one hand, social
media
networks can help us to meet new
people
or talk to our friends when we are at home.
Therefore
,
people
can communicate with each other from everywhere only with their devices.
For example
, I, as an IELTS examiner, did lots of practice in random call chats, because I could improve my speaking or any English skills by talking to native speakers
while
I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
learning from them.
As a result
, I did not have to spend much money on transportation to meet
people
to talk to them.
However
,
on the other hand
, spending
much
Rephrase
too much
show examples
time on social
media
websites can have some drawbacks too
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
people
believe it will damage our personal relationships, which means,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
us forget about how we should talk to other
people
and body language.
For instance
, you
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
a girl on social
media
and
started
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
to chat with her, after sometimes you
asked
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
her to go outside for dinner, but the problem is you do not know how to behave gently because you lost all of your time on social
media
, which makes your social skills poor.
To conclude
, social
media
can always have negative and positive points for society, but the point is to know how to use it correctly.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic and supports the main points. Use transition words and phrases to show the connections between ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both perspectives with relevant examples. Provide a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: